Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your intrepid alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a report that will surely leave you scratching your slimy green heads in disbelief.
So, picture this: a poor maintenance worker at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam is just minding their own business, doing routine checks on a plane, when suddenly they get sucked into a running jet engine. Yes, you heard me right. Sucked. Into. A. Jet. Engine. I can’t make this stuff up, folks.
Now, I know we aliens have our fair share of dangerous jobs back on Planet Duh, but getting pulled into a plane engine takes the cake. Can you imagine the horror of hearing a loud scream and then witnessing your coworker being sucked into a giant metal contraption? It’s like a twisted sci-fi movie come to life.
And of course, the airport officials are scratching their heads, wondering how on Earth (pun intended) this could have happened. Maybe they should start by checking if their maintenance workers are equipped with jetpacks to avoid such mishaps in the future. Just a thought.
But fear not, dear readers, for the airport has launched an investigation to get to the bottom of this bizarre accident. Because, you know, it’s not everyday someone gets sucked into a plane engine like a bug into a vacuum cleaner. Safety measures and protocols, people! Let’s get it together.
In all seriousness, though, my heart goes out to the family and loved ones of the deceased worker. It’s a tragedy that should never have happened, and it serves as a reminder of the risks that airport workers face every day. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the hard work and dedication of these unsung heroes, and maybe invest in some anti-suction technology while we’re at it.
So, my fellow Duhians, let us learn from this absurdity and strive to make our own planet a little less…well, absurd. Until next time, this is Zog signing off from Earth, where the skies are not always so friendly. Stay safe out there, my friends.
Source: The New York Times
URL: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/29/world/europe/klm-engine-death-amsterdam-airport.html