So, apparently, Eastern Randolph High School is now the hot spot for tuberculosis. Move over prom drama, there’s a new infectious disease in town! In a shocking turn of events, a positive case of TB has been identified at the school, causing panic among students, staff, and parents alike.
Now, before you start wrapping your child in a bubble wrap suit, let’s take a moment to appreciate the irony of a disease from the 1800s making a comeback in 2021. I mean, what’s next? Polio? The Black Plague? It’s like we’re living in a history textbook, but with better wi-fi.
But fear not, dear readers, for the infected individual has been quarantined faster than you can say “hand me the Lysol.” They are currently receiving treatment and hopefully not coughing on anyone in the process. And let’s be real, with symptoms like coughing, chest pain, fatigue, fever, and weight loss, they’re probably not the life of the party right now anyway.
In a bid to prevent the disease from spreading faster than gossip in a small town, the school district is working with health officials to track down anyone who may have come into contact with Patient Zero. Contact tracing, testing, and treatment are all on the agenda, because nothing says “Welcome back to school” like a mandatory TB test.
Parents have been informed of the situation and are advised to keep an eye out for any symptoms in their precious offspring. Because nothing says “quality education” like teaching your kid how to dodge a disease outbreak. Maybe they can add that to the curriculum next to algebra and dodgeball.
In the meantime, the school is taking all the necessary precautions to ensure the safety of its students and staff. Hand sanitizer stations, mask mandates, and hazmat suits are probably on backorder as we speak. But hey, at least they’re trying, right?
So, there you have it, folks. Tuberculosis has made a grand entrance at Eastern Randolph High School, proving once again that you never know what’s lurking in the halls of education. Stay safe, stay healthy, and maybe invest in a face shield just in case. And remember, laughter is the best medicine. Well, that and a good dose of hand sanitizer.