“Trump Unleashes His Donor Hit List: Nikki Haley Supporters Left Wondering If They Need a Political Witness Protection Program”
In a stunning display of political pettiness, the orange-hued maestro of chaos, Donald J. Trump, has unleashed his latest hit list. But this time, it’s not his enemies who should be trembling in their boots, oh no. It’s the poor souls who dared to support Nikki Haley.
Yes, folks, the former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations and potential presidential contender now finds herself at the mercy of the Twitter-happy tyrant. Trump’s loyalists are left scratching their heads, wondering if they need a political witness protection program.
One can only imagine the trepidation coursing through the veins of these unfortunate donors. Will they wake up to find a horse’s head in their bed? Or perhaps their beloved pet goldfish will mysteriously disappear, leaving behind a tiny note that says, “You’re next.”
But let’s take a step back and appreciate the sheer audacity of this move. Trump, the man who once boasted about his ability to shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and still maintain his support, now turns his sights on those who once stood by his side. Loyalty, it seems, is as fleeting as his attention span.
So, to all you Nikki Haley supporters out there, my advice is simple: invest in some security cameras, change your phone number, and for the love of all that is mildly offensive, start sleeping with one eye open. Because in Trump’s world, no one is safe from the wrath of a scorned reality TV star turned leader of the free world. Good luck, and may the political gods have mercy on your souls.