‘Steam Next Fest: A Whopping Eight Demos That Surprisingly Didn’t Make Us Want to Gouge Our Eyes Out’
Ah, E3, that relic of a time when we could all gather in a sweaty convention center and pretend to be excited about the latest overhyped games. But fear not, dear gamers, for now we have Steam Next Fest, a digital event that allows us to awkwardly play demos from the comfort of our own homes. Because who needs human interaction when you can stare at a screen for hours on end?
And what a lineup we have! Brace yourselves, folks, because we’ve got everything from puzzle-platformers to action RPGs to, wait for it, backpack management sims. Because apparently, there’s nothing more thrilling than organizing virtual backpacks. Truly, the pinnacle of gaming innovation.
But let’s focus on the “standout” games, shall we? Unbound Worlds Apart, a puzzle-platformer that promises an “immersive experience.” Ah yes, nothing says immersion like opening portals to alternate dimensions. Because who needs a stable reality when you can just hop around different dimensions and pretend your life isn’t a hot mess?
And let’s not forget Grime, a game where you get to be a living black hole exploring a grotesque world. Because apparently, the only thing more depressing than our actual existence is pretending to be a cosmic void. Sign me up!
But hey, at least we have a game called Death Trash to look forward to. Because what’s more uplifting than a post-apocalyptic world filled with grotesque creatures? I can already feel the joy radiating from my screen.
And let’s not forget Sable, an exploration-focused game that promises to take us on a journey of self-discovery. Because apparently, the best way to find yourself is by wandering aimlessly in a visually stunning open world. Who needs therapy when you can just play video games, right?
So there you have it, folks. Steam Next Fest has brought us a lineup of games that will surely make us question our life choices. But hey, at least we’ll have something to distract us from the crushing weight of our existence. Happy gaming, everyone!