“Starliner Slow Rollout: One Giant Leap for Mankind, One Small Roll for Rocket”
So, the Starliner is making its slow roll towards history, huh? At a whopping 1 mph, I’m sure the world is shaking in its boots at the sheer speed and power of this groundbreaking spacecraft. I mean, forget about the Space Race, we’re now in the Slow Roll Race, folks!
Boeing’s Starliner is perched atop a United Launch Alliance Atlas V rocket, standing tall at 172 feet. I can just picture it now, slowly inching its way towards the launch pad, like a snail on a mission to conquer the final frontier. Watch out, ISS, here comes Starliner at a snail’s pace!
The Starliner test mission is apparently moving full steam ahead, although I’m not sure how much steam you can generate at 1 mph. But hey, who am I to judge? I’m sure those NASA scientists are doing some serious math to make sure this thing doesn’t veer off course and end up in someone’s backyard.
Boeing’s spacecraft is gearing up for a series of tests to prove it’s capable of shuttling astronauts to and from the ISS. I can only imagine the training program for those astronauts: “Welcome to Starliner 101, where we teach you how to sit still for hours on end as you slowly head towards space. Don’t worry, there’s a bathroom onboard for those extra long journeys!”
The successful positioning of the rocket on the launch pad is being hailed as a major achievement. I mean, it’s not every day you see a giant metal tube standing upright on a concrete slab. Truly groundbreaking stuff, folks.
NASA and Boeing are apparently confident that Starliner is ready for its test flight. Let’s hope they remembered to pack some snacks for the astronauts, because at this rate, they might be up there for a while. “Houston, we have a problem…we ran out of pretzels!”
So, as we countdown to liftoff, let’s all hold our breath and pray that Starliner doesn’t get lost on its way to space. Because if it does, we might have to send out a search party armed with flashlights and a map. Good luck, Starliner, may the force (of gravity) be with you!