“Space Force throws wads of cash at Blue Origin to play with rockets and pretend it’s important.”
In a shocking display of intergalactic idiocy, the Space Force has taken a break from guarding the final frontier against cosmic invaders (which don’t exist) to throw wads of taxpayer cash at Blue Origin. Yes, you heard that right, they’re literally giving away money to a bunch of billionaires to play with rockets and pretend it’s important.
Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure there are more pressing matters here on Earth that could use a fraction of that dough. Homelessness? Poverty? Climate change? Nah, forget about all that noise. Let’s focus on shooting metal tubes into the sky because it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
It’s truly fascinating how these so-called geniuses at Blue Origin have managed to convince the Space Force that their little fireworks display is vital to national security. I mean, who needs healthcare or better education when we can have Jeff Bezos shooting himself into space for kicks?
But hey, at least the Space Force is consistent. They’ve always had a knack for wasting money on pointless endeavors. Remember when they spent millions on camouflage uniforms that didn’t even work in space? Talk about a fashion faux pas. Maybe they should hire a stylist instead of throwing cash at rocket companies.
In the end, this whole debacle just goes to show that money truly can’t buy intelligence. So here’s to you, Space Force, for reminding us all that when it comes to spending taxpayer dollars, the sky is the limit. Or should I say, the rocket is the limit? Bravo.