Hold onto your hats, folks, because Mpox is on the rise in Allegheny County! That’s right, 10 cases were reported in April alone. I know, I know, it’s a shocking number. I mean, who knew that Mpox was making a comeback? It’s like the 90s all over again, but instead of boy bands and Tamagotchis,…
Read More ““Mpox Mania: 10 Cases Reported – Protect Yourself Before It’s Too Late!”” »
So, it seems like the Lake Chabot Public Market in Castro Valley decided to spice things up a bit by throwing a three-alarm fire into the mix. I mean, who needs a new marketing strategy when you can just set the whole place on fire, right? The blaze, which started in the wee hours of…
Read More “Lake Chabot Public Market fire: Hot deals turn to hot flames, now under control!” »
So, Kourtney Kardashian has found herself in quite the pickle, hasn’t she? In a dramatic turn of events on their never-ending reality show, it seems like Scott Disick dropped a bombshell on her. No, not literally, though that would have made for some truly riveting television. During a heated phone call with her ex, Kourtney…
Read More “Kourtney Kardashian Shocked to Find Out Her Fight with Kim Made It to Hulu” »
Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your intrepid alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a report that will surely leave you scratching your slimy green heads in disbelief. So, picture this: a poor maintenance worker at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam is just minding…
Read More ““Unlucky Earthling Meets Fiery Fate in Impromptu Airport Exercise Class.”” »
So, apparently, Bill Belichick decided to pack up his hoodies and leave the New England Patriots this offseason. And what do you know, his son Steve decided to follow him out the door. Like father, like son, I guess. But hold on to your deflated footballs, folks, because it looks like Brian Belichick, the other…
So, apparently, the latest trend in tech is to turn your outdated Apple Watch into a wannabe iPod. Because, you know, why not make your wrist look like a relic from the past while also trying to be cutting edge? It’s like trying to bring back frosted tips and cargo pants – some things just…
Read More ““TinyPod: Because who needs a fancy Apple Watch when you can have an iPod?”” »
So, it turns out that being a dad might actually be hazardous to your health. That’s right, fellas, a groundbreaking new study has found that having kids could be the reason why you kick the bucket a little sooner than your childless counterparts. Researchers at Northwestern University and Ann Rober (whoever she is) have discovered…
Read More ““Fatherhood: The Silent Killer? Study Shows Having Kids May Shorten Mens Lives”” »
King Felipe of Spain, the poor guy, was apparently crushed and destroyed by his wife Queen Letizia’s alleged infidelity. Oh, the horror! According to a bombshell new book, the Queen has been getting cozy with someone who isn’t her royal hubby. I mean, who can blame her? Have you seen King Felipe’s hairline lately? It’s…
Read More “Royal Rumble: Queen Letizia’s Cheating Leaves King Felipe in Shambles” »
So, here we are folks, at the climax of the Trump hush money trial. It’s like a reality TV show, but with more legal jargon and less spray tans. Judge Juan Merchans has been laying down the law (literally) and now it’s time for the jury to decide if Trump is guilty or not guilty….
Read More ““Judge Failla: The Real MVP of Trump’s Hush Money Trial or Just Another Patsy?”” »
Greetings, fellow Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to bring you the latest scoop on the absurdity of your planet. Today’s headline: “Putin’s Plan to Bomb the World – A Comedy of Errors or a Tragedy in the Making?” So, apparently, Russian President Vladimir Putin has…
Read More ““Putin’s Plan for World Peace: Population Control Through Strategic Bombing!”” »
So, it seems like everyone and their fictional grandmother is excited about the release of Hades 2 in Early Access. From anime sensation Hatsune Miku to the legendary Solaire of Astora, it seems like all the cool kids are ready to dive back into the Underworld for some more rogue-like action. And who can blame…
Read More ““From Jesus to Solaire, Hades 2 fan art stirs controversy and creativity”” »
So, apparently the NFL Players Association is shaking things up with a proposal to change up the offseason programs for all the football players out there. And let me tell you, the players are not too happy about it. Defensive end Shelby Harris from the Denver Broncos is leading the charge against these proposed changes….
Read More “NFL Players Association proposes offseason changes, players push back, chaos ensues.” »
So, after 166 days of circling Earth, Chinaâ??s secret spaceplane decided to spice things up by ejecting an unknown object into orbit. Because why not, right? I mean, who doesnâ??t love a good mysterious object floating around in space? Now, hereâ??s the kicker â?? no one really knows what this object is or what itâ??s…
Read More “Chinas spaceplane ejects mystery object into orbit, sparking fear and speculation.” »
So, turns out all those years of blaming sugar for turning our kids into tiny tornadoes of chaos might have been a load of baloney. That’s right, folks, the age-old belief that sugar consumption leads to hyperactivity in children has been debunked by a group of researchers who are probably feeling pretty smug right about…
So, here we go again with another tragic tale of stupidity and heartbreak. A 14-year-old girl, Sarah Johnson, was killed in a suspected DUI crash in Orange County. I mean, come on people, how many times do we have to hear about these senseless tragedies before someone finally gets the message that drinking and driving…
Read More ““DUI Disaster: Teen Tragically Killed, Community Mourns – When Will We Learn?”” »
So, Cardi B is once again facing backlash for her choice of attire. Seriously, is this woman ever allowed to just wear what she wants without the peanut gallery chiming in with their unsolicited opinions? Apparently not. After Cardi strutted her stuff in a skintight catsuit in Las Vegas, the trolls came out in full…
Read More “Cardi B Claps Back at Body Shamers: “Haters Gonna Hate, I’m Unbothered!”” »
Greetings, fellow beings of the cosmos! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest antics of the Earthlings. Today’s episode of Earth’s Reality TV Show features a deadly game of cat and mouse between Israel and Hamas in the Gaza Strip. In a shocking turn…
Read More “‘Earthlings Engage in Expensive Fireworks Display Over Disputed Territory’” »
So, Tesla has rolled out yet another update for its vehicles, version 202420, because apparently, the previous 19,419 updates just weren’t enough. This time around, they’ve introduced adaptive headlights that can now adapt to curves. Because, you know, driving in a straight line is just too mainstream. Now your Tesla can swerve around those corners…
Read More “Tesla’s 202420 Update: Because nothing says “cutting-edge” like Supercharger races.” »
Well, well, well, it looks like Stephen and Ayesha Curry have added yet another member to their starting lineup! The power couple welcomed their fourth child, a bouncing baby boy, into the world in what can only be described as a slam dunk of a delivery. In true Curry fashion, Ayesha took to social media…
Read More ““NBA Superstar and Cookbook Author Welcome Fourth Child, Future MVP or Master Chef?”” »
So, it looks like SpaceX crews were busy this morning in Brevard County, trying to get their Falcon 9 rocket off the ground. But surprise, surprise – they hit a snag. I mean, it wouldn’t be a SpaceX launch without a little drama, right? According to the latest update, SpaceX has decided to stand down…
Read More “SpaceX Launch Delayed Again: Aliens or Just Another Technical Glitch?” »
Well, well, well, it looks like we’ve got another tragic tale of stupidity and recklessness on our hands. A 14-year-old girl named Emma Johnson was killed in a suspected DUI crash in Orange County over the weekend, all thanks to the brilliant decision-making skills of a 37-year-old man named John Smith. Now, I’m not a…
Read More ““Teen’s tragic death in DUI crash leaves community shaken – when will we learn?”” »
So, it seems like skinny jabs are not only helping people shed those extra pounds, but they might also be contributing to a mini baby boom. Who would have thought that trying to get skinny could lead to getting knocked up? Experts are now urging women to not only jab themselves with these weight loss…
Read More ““Skinny Jabs and Contraception: The New Dynamic Duo for Women’s Health”” »
Alright, buckle up folks, because we’ve got a wild ride ahead. Picture this: Richard Dreyfuss, yes, the guy from Jaws, decided it would be a brilliant idea to take the stage in a housedress and swing his cane around like he’s auditioning for a remake of The Lion King. But wait, it gets better (or…
Read More “Dreyfuss Dives Deep into Transphobia: Jaws Actor Takes Bite out of Acceptance.” »
So, the Slovenian cycling sensation Tadej Pogacar has emerged victorious at the Giro d’Italia, dominating the race like a pro. Winning six stages and finishing almost a thousand miles ahead of his competition, Pogacar raised the winner’s trophy in Rome with a smug smile on his face. But hey, who wouldn’t be happy after such…
Read More ““Generous Giro Winner Pogacar: Giving Back or Just Winning to Make Friends?”” »
So, apparently, there’s a comet named TsuchinshanATLAS hurtling towards Earth, and it’s causing quite the stir among scientists and skywatchers alike. This icy ball of gas and dust is set to make its grand entrance in October, shining as bright as Venus and dazzling us all with its tail wagging in the night sky. Now,…
