“Maternal Death Rates Inflated by Data Errors: US Crisis or Statistical Mirage?” So, it turns out that the maternal death rate crisis in the United States may not be as dire as we’ve been led to believe. According to a recent study, the high maternal death rates that have been causing panic for the past…
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‘Israel expertly creates chaos and hunger in Gaza, a true masterpiece!’ Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the chaotic mess that is Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of incompetence and absurdity straight from the land of Israel and Gaza. So, let me get…
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“Republican Senators Outraged by New Policy: No More Judge Shopping Allowed!” So, it seems Senate Republicans are throwing a hissy fit over the fact that they can no longer cherry-pick their favorite judges for their cases. How dare the judicial system try to inject some fairness and impartiality into the mix, right? Instead of celebrating…
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“US Maternal Death Rate Crisis Exposed as Misclassified Data Inflation Scandal” So, it turns out that the United States may not be as terrible at keeping pregnant women alive as we once thought. A recent study has revealed that the maternal death rate crisis in the US has been greatly exaggerated due to some good…
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Trev Alberts: From All-American to Athletic Director – Nebraska to Texas AM! So, here we go again with another big shot being named as the new director of athletics at Texas AM University. Mark A Welsh III has decided to shake things up by bringing in Trev Alberts, a former football player and ESPN analyst,…
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“Final Fantasy VII Mod Turns Female Characters into Muscle-Bound Mommies: Feminism at Its Finest?” So, apparently the ladies of Remake have been pumping iron like there’s no tomorrow. I mean, forget about the gym, these gals have been hitting the virtual weights so hard, they could probably bench press Cloud Strife himself. And speaking of…
“Earthlings Shocked by Attempt to Prevent Alien Influence in Media” Greetings, fellow beings of the cosmos! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans of Earthlings. Today’s topic of discussion? The uproar over a bid for the Daily Telegraph by former CNN chief Jeff…
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Ohioans Prepare for Solar Eclipse: Church becomes “Hallowed Ground” for Viewing; Stock Up on Eye Protection! So, here we are, folks. The stars are aligning, the planets are in perfect harmony, and on April 8th, 2024, a total solar eclipse will grace the skies above our heads. But hold on to your hats, because it…
“Mars: The Real Mastermind Behind Earth’s Giant Whirlpools – CNN Reveals” So, apparently Mars is not just content with being a distant red dot in the sky, it’s now decided to mess with our oceans too. I mean, what’s next? Mars influencing our love lives? Maybe that’s why my dating life is a disaster –…
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“Spoiler Alert: Saints sign Gay, defense to be less fabulous, more fierce” So, the New Orleans Saints have decided to add linebacker Willie Gay Jr to their roster. And no, this is not a matchmaking service for LGBTQ+ football players, in case you were wondering. Gay, who is leaving the Chiefs for a one-year deal…
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Google’s PC Gaming Invasion: Steam and Epic Games, Beware! Alrighty then, folks! Google is shaking things up in the gaming world with their latest announcement at the Google for Games Developer Summit 2024. Brace yourselves, because Google is diving headfirst into the PC gaming market with their very own native games. Move over Steam and…
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Google bans AI chatbot Gemini from predicting 2024 elections, because humans can’t handle the truth. Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from Planet Duh, here to shed some light on the latest shenanigans happening on your peculiar planet. Today, we delve into the realm of Google and its AI chatbot…
‘Ireland’s Constitution Still Stuck in the Dark Ages: Women Belong in the Home?’ Greetings, fellow beings of Earth! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans unfolding in your peculiar little world. Today, we delve into the riveting saga of Irish voters deciding…
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“Im Just Ken: Mandy Moore’s Kens and Barbie team steal Oscars spotlight with Gosling” So, the Oscars. The glitz, the glamour, the drama…and the Kens? Yes, you heard that right. Choreographer Mandy Moore decided to shake things up at this year’s ceremony by bringing out not one, not two, but a whopping 62 Kens to…
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DAngelo Russell joins Lakers: Can he save them from LeBrons drama? So, the Los Angeles Lakers have made a big move by acquiring D’Angelo Russell from the Brooklyn Nets. I’m sure Lakers fans are thrilled about this trade, thinking Russell will be the missing piece to their championship puzzle. But let’s be real here, the…
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Christian Horner hints at calling Max Verstappen’s bluff, Red Bull drama unfolds. So, it looks like Christian Horner is playing hardball with Max Verstappen, the golden boy of Red Bull Racing. In a recent interview, Horner basically said, “Hey, Max, if you want to leave, go ahead. We’ll survive without you.” Ouch, talk about tough…
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“Avian Flu Jumps to Mammals: Are Humans Next? USDA Raises Alarm” So, it seems the avian flu has decided to branch out from our feathered friends and make some new mammal buddies. The USDA announced that the virus has been making its way to mammals in three lucky states – Washington, Montana, and Kentucky. Looks…
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“Fortnite Servers Still Down: Tennessee Least Likely to Win Real-Life Victory Royale” So, here we are again, folks. The Fortnite servers are down. Surprise, surprise. It’s like a never-ending cycle of disappointment and frustration for all you virtual warriors out there. Epic Games, the masterminds behind Fortnite, have once again left players hanging, eagerly awaiting…
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Xenoturbella churro: The Churro-Eating Underwater Worm That’s Blowing Scientists’ Minds So, apparently there’s a new player in the deep ocean game, and it’s not your typical underwater worm. Move over P strickrotti, there’s a new kid on the block รข?? Xenoturbella churro. Yes, you heard that right, churro. I guess even worms are getting in…
Lights dim on Biden’s speech, but his commitment shines bright in State of the Union. So, here we have President Biden, taking his sweet time to exit the House chamber after his State of the Union address. I mean, we get it Joe, you want to chat, take selfies, and discuss the Israel-Gaza war with…
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‘Ireland’s Constitution Still Stuck in the Dark Ages: Women Belong in the Home?’ Greetings, fellow beings of Earth! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans unfolding in your peculiar little world. Today, we delve into the riveting saga of Irish voters deciding…
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Disney Passholder’s Routine Update Turns Terrifying; Scammer’s Deceit Unveiled In a shocking turn of events, what should have been a routine update for a Disney passholder turned into a terrifying ordeal of deceit and potential theft, leaving a Florida resident shaken to his core with feelings of betrayal and vulnerability. The ordeal commenced innocently enough…
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Dwayne Johnson Turns Jabroni into Jabroni Candy Ass – What’s Next? So, it looks like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is not only cooking up a storm in Hollywood, but he’s also stirring the pot in the wrestling world. The man can now not only smell what The Rock is cooking, but he can also monetize…
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“Trump’s Trial Delay: Dodging Justice or Masterful Strategy?” So, it looks like former President Trump is playing the ultimate game of trial and error, emphasis on the error. His legal team has been working overtime to delay his impeachment trial, citing all sorts of reasons like needing more time to review evidence and build their…
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Sean ‘Dirty’ Diddy Combs: From Making Hits to Making Unwanted Advances? It looks like Sean Diddy Combs has found himself in quite the sticky situation. And no, I’m not talking about his hair gel. A former employee has come forward with some serious allegations against the music mogul, accusing him of sexual assault, sexual harassment,…
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