Kutcher’s Diddy Secrets: MTV Friendship or Blackmail Scheme? Stay tuned for the juicy details! So, apparently Ashton Kutcher and Diddy have some kind of secret bond that has the world buzzing with curiosity. I mean, who knew these two were tight? Maybe they bonded over their shared love of bling or their mutual interest in…
“Vulcan rocket launch delayed due to uncertainty over payload – Space Force certification pending?” So, it looks like United Launch Alliance is having a little bit of trouble getting their Vulcan rocket off the ground. After their big debut in January, where they probably popped some champagne and high-fived each other, it seems like they’re…
Forget Botox! Berries are the new fountain of youth, says beauty guru. So, apparently, the fountain of youth isn’t found in some expensive jar of cream or needle full of Botox. No, according to Star Khechara, the creator of The Facelift Diet, all you need to do is chow down on some berries and boom…
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“Judge shuts down Trump’s immunity claim, trial set to begin – popcorn ready!” So, the drama surrounding former President Donald Trump just keeps on coming, doesn’t it? The man who never seems to stay out of the headlines is now trying to delay his trial in a hush money case because, well, why not? I…
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Julia Garner to Surf the Cosmos as Silver Surfer in Marvel Studios Exclusive! Move over, Chris Hemsworth, there’s a new superhero in town – and she’s not afraid to surf through the stars in style. In a surprising twist of fate, Julia Garner has been cast as the cosmic hero Silver Surfer in Marvel Studios’…
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“Russia Blames US for Terror Attack, Declares War on Imaginary Enemies” Greetings, fellow Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans happening on this wacky planet of yours. Today’s topic of discussion? The Russian officials’ blame game after a terrorist attack on the…
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“Think you know everything about your PS5? Think again. It’s more than just a console.” So, you fancy yourself a tech-savvy individual, huh? You’ve got your hands on a shiny new PlayStation 5 and you think you know everything there is to know about it. Well, think again, my friend. It turns out that this…
“Mike Tyson scared to fight Jake Paul: Is this the end of Iron Mike?” So, apparently Mike Tyson is shaking in his boxing boots at the thought of facing off against Jake Paul in the ring. Yes, you heard that right – the former heavyweight champion is feeling nervous and afraid. I guess even the…
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“105-Year-Old Man Ready for 13th Solar Eclipse: Age is Just a Number” Alright folks, hold onto your hats because we’ve got a real thrill-seeker on our hands. Laverne Biser, a 105-year-old retired engineer, has become somewhat of a solar eclipse enthusiast. That’s right, this guy has traveled far and wide to witness the magic of…
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“Wife Rejects Husband’s Sex Initiations, Internet in Frenzy – How to Do It?” So, it seems like we have a real Casanova on our hands here, folks! A man in his early 40s, with kids and a sexless marriage for over eight years. I mean, who wouldn’t want to jump his bones, right? But fear…
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“Spring? More like WINTER IS COMING with this Noreaster bringing chaos to New Hampshire!” So, New Hampshire is about to get hit with a good old-fashioned Noreaster, bringing with it a delightful mix of snow, rain, and gusty winds. Because Mother Nature just loves to keep us on our toes, right? I mean, who doesn’t…
Lady Gaga to Shake Things Up as Harley Quinn in Joker Sequel! Hold onto your hats, folks, because it looks like Lady Gaga is about to bring her own brand of crazy to the world of DC Comics. That’s right, Mother Monster herself is set to star opposite Joaquin Phoenix in the upcoming musical follow-up…
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Bond company ordered to pay 811 million for defrauding immigrants, justice prevails for migrants. So, get this – a company that posts bonds for jailed immigrants facing deportation has been ordered to pay a whopping 811 million for their shady practices. I mean, talk about taking advantage of people in a tough spot! This Virginia…
Earthlings Outraged as Cruise Line Takes Unexpected Detour to Africa Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded amongst the chaos of Earth. Today, I bring you a riveting tale of two American passengers who found themselves abandoned on an island in Africa after their cruise ship decided…
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Chamberlain’s MyQ: Controversy, Schmontroversy – 69,000 Five-Star Reviews Can’t Be Wrong! So, apparently, the Chamberlain’s MyQ smart garage door opener has been causing quite the stir lately. Who knew a garage door opener could be so controversial? But fear not, dear readers, because despite all the drama, this little gadget still seems to be a…
“Wentz’s Wild Ride: From Eagles to Colts to Chiefs, Where Next?” So, in the latest episode of “Where in the World is Carson Wentz?”, the former Eagles quarterback has landed himself a new gig as the backup quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. Yes, you heard that right – Carson Wentz, the guy who was…
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“Mindful Walking: The Cure for Whirring Thoughts and Stiff Posture, or Just Another Fad?” So, here I was, attempting to improve my wellbeing and posture by taking a simple stroll outside. Little did I know, this seemingly innocent activity would turn into a weeklong journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. As I set out on my…
“Veggies Before Carbs: The Secret to Weight Loss and Blood Sugar Control?” So, apparently, the latest health craze sweeping the internet is all about the order in which you eat your food. Forget about portion control or exercise, now it’s all about nutrient sequencing. Because clearly, rearranging your plate is the key to a healthier…
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“Divine Comedy: Oklahoma Supreme Court to Decide if God Gets Taxpayer Funding” Alright folks, hold onto your rosary beads because the Oklahoma Supreme Court is about to dive headfirst into a holy war over a proposed Catholic charter school. That’s right, it’s time for some good old-fashioned church versus state drama, with a side of…
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Frankie Muniz spills tea on Malcolm in the Middle tension, takes dramatic walk-off. So, here we have former child star Frankie Muniz spilling the tea on the drama that went down on the set of Malcolm in the Middle. Apparently, things got so heated that Muniz had to take a breather and walk off the…
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Tori Spelling’s podcast debut: misSPELLING the truth about divorce, fame, and coparenting chaos. Tori Spelling, the queen of spelling mistakes and now apparently the queen of divorce filings, has decided to grace us all with her presence on her new podcast misSPELLING. In her debut episode, she shared a vulnerable moment by admitting that she…
“US Sniper in Ukraine Urges: More Bullets, Less Tanks – Revolutionary Concept!” Greetings, Earthlings! This is Zog reporting live from the absurdity that is your planet. Today, we delve into the crisis in Ukraine, where a US sniper has bravely stepped forward to highlight the dire need for ammunition over tanks in the ongoing conflict….
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“Sega Holds Auditions for Like a Dragon Cast: Can They Actually Act?” So, apparently Sega and Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio are holding auditions for the next Like a Dragon game. Because, you know, who needs professional voice actors when you can just grab some random dude off the street to mumble their way through a…
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“Texas Chiefs Receiver Rashee Rice Retains Counsel After Mysterious Car Crash: Who’s to Blame?” So, it looks like Mr. Rashee Rice, the esteemed Chiefs receiver, has found himself in a bit of a pickle. And by pickle, I mean a car crash involving a vehicle registered to him. Smooth move, Rashee. Witnesses claim the car…
“North Texans’ Eclipse Viewing Dreams Dashed by Weather: Prepare for Cloudy Disappointment!” So, it looks like Mother Nature is about to rain on our eclipse parade here in North Texas. The National Weather Service in Fort Worth is basically telling us, “Hey, you might have a 15% chance of actually seeing this solar eclipse, but…
