“2024 Solar Eclipse: Readers Capture Stunning Images, Make Us Question Our Existence”

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“2024 Solar Eclipse: Readers Capture Stunning Images, Make Us Question Our Existence” So, the total solar eclipse of 2024 has come and gone, leaving a trail of awe-inspired onlookers in its wake. People from all over the world flocked to North America to witness this cosmic event, armed with their cameras and smartphones ready to…

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Science News

“Sushi: The New Brain Food – Forget Mediterranean, Go Japanese for Dementia Defense”

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“Sushi: The New Brain Food – Forget Mediterranean, Go Japanese for Dementia Defense” So, apparently, the key to keeping your brain sharp and avoiding dementia is not found in a fancy Mediterranean diet, but in a good ol’ traditional Japanese one. Who would’ve thought, right? Forget about olive oil and red wine, bring on the…

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Health News

“Chemical Plants Forced to Clean Up Act, Industry Cries Over Spilled Toxins”

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“Chemical Plants Forced to Clean Up Act, Industry Cries Over Spilled Toxins” So, apparently the EPA has decided to crack down on pollution from chemical plants across the country. I guess they finally realized that breathing in toxic chemicals might not be great for our health. Who would have thought, right? Under these new regulations,…

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US News

Sunny Hostin blames everything on climate change: Eclipse, earthquake, and cicadas – oh my!

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Sunny Hostin blames everything on climate change: Eclipse, earthquake, and cicadas – oh my! So, apparently, according to Sunny Hostin, climate change is now responsible for everything from solar eclipses to earthquakes and even the impending cicada breeding season. I mean, talk about a multitasking villain – Mother Nature must be working overtime to mess…

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Entertainment News

“Nebraska: Missing Monday’s eclipse? Don’t worry, you have a few decades to spare!”

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“Nebraska: Missing Monday’s eclipse? Don’t worry, you have a few decades to spare!” Did you miss Monday’s solar eclipse in Nebraska? Well, fear not my fellow Nebraskans, you’ll have a few more chances to catch this celestial extravaganza in the next couple of decades. Who needs total solar eclipses anyway, right? We’ll take what we…

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Science News

Kentucky’s loss is Maryland’s gain: Sharpshooter Joey Hart leaves Wildcats for Terrapins

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Kentucky’s loss is Maryland’s gain: Sharpshooter Joey Hart leaves Wildcats for Terrapins So, Kentucky loses another player. Shocking, isn’t it? Not really. It seems like every other day we hear about another Wildcat packing up and heading out of town. This time, it’s freshman guard Joey Hart who is entering the transfer portal. I guess…

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Sports News

“Hatsune Miku Fails to Impress Fans with Holographic Concert, Demands Refunds Pour In”

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“Hatsune Miku Fails to Impress Fans with Holographic Concert, Demands Refunds Pour In” So, here we are in the year 2024, where apparently using a good old LED TV is now the cutting-edge technology for showcasing holographic pop stars. Hatsune Miku, the virtual diva herself, has caused quite the stir with her recent concert series,…

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Technology News

Vatican warns: Embracing diversity and reproductive choices might actually be…progress?

Posted on By Zog Wakk

Vatican warns: Embracing diversity and reproductive choices might actually be…progress? Greetings, fellow Duhlings! Zog here, reporting live from the wacky world of Earth, where the Vatican has decided to reaffirm its stance on gender reassignment, abortion, and euthanasia in a new declaration called Dignitas Infinita. Because apparently, the Catholic Church just can’t resist telling everyone…

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World News

“NeuM Unveiled: Peeking Inside the Brain to Unravel Neurological Mysteries”

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“NeuM Unveiled: Peeking Inside the Brain to Unravel Neurological Mysteries” So, apparently, scientists have come up with a fancy new technology called NeuM that promises to give us a front-row seat to the inner workings of our neurons. I mean, who doesn’t want to spy on their brain cells, am I right? This cutting-edge imaging…

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Health News

“Trump: Let States Decide on Abortion, Except for Rape, Incest, and Mother’s Life…of course”

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“Trump: Let States Decide on Abortion, Except for Rape, Incest, and Mother’s Life…of course” So, the man who famously said he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose any voters has now decided to weigh in on the hot-button issue of abortion. Donald Trump, the man who can’t seem to make up his…

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US News

Eiko Ishibashi: Anger-fueled genius or just a mad composer?

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Eiko Ishibashi: Anger-fueled genius or just a mad composer? So, apparently, renowned composer Eiko Ishibashi is on a mission to push the boundaries of music with her latest work, Drive My Car. And what’s her inspiration, you ask? Anger. That’s right, folks, Ishibashi is channeling her frustration with societal norms and expectations into her music,…

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Entertainment News

“New York City in for a treat, Texas gets the short end of the eclipse stick”

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“New York City in for a treat, Texas gets the short end of the eclipse stick” So, apparently, New York City is going to have clear skies for the 2024 solar eclipse. Big whoop. I mean, sure, New Yorkers will have a good shot of seeing the eclipse, but let’s be real, they probably have…

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Science News

“Cleveland: Where Total Eclipse and Clark Comet Light up the Night Sky”

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“Cleveland: Where Total Eclipse and Clark Comet Light up the Night Sky” So, Cleveland, the city that’s usually known for its lackluster sports teams and unpredictable weather, was suddenly thrust into the spotlight this week thanks to a rare celestial event. Yes, you heard that right – Cleveland got to witness a total eclipse and…

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Sports News

“Fallout New Vegas: Because who needs new games when you have moral dilemmas?”

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“Fallout New Vegas: Because who needs new games when you have moral dilemmas?” So, apparently, Fallout New Vegas is still a thing. Yes, that’s right, this RPG classic from nearly 15 years ago is somehow still managing to stick around in the cultural discourse more than many modern games. Who would’ve thought that a game…

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Technology News

“Earthlings Shocked to Discover US Congress Infected by Russian Propaganda!”

Posted on By Zog Wakk

“Earthlings Shocked to Discover US Congress Infected by Russian Propaganda!” Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from Planet Duh, here to shed some light on the comical chaos that is your planet’s political landscape. Strap in, buckle up, and get ready for a wild ride through the absurdity of Earth’s…

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World News

“AM5 Socket: AMD’s Latest Ploy to Make Your Current CPU Obsolete”

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“AM5 Socket: AMD’s Latest Ploy to Make Your Current CPU Obsolete” So, apparently AMD is cooking up some new goodies for us tech enthusiasts to drool over. Forget Zen 3 or Zen 4, we’re talking Zen 5 and Zen 6 processors possibly making themselves at home on the AM5 socket. It’s like a fancy new…

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Technology News

“Alien journalist amazed by Earthlings’ ability to sever ties over ex-vice president’s arrest.”

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“Alien journalist amazed by Earthlings’ ability to sever ties over ex-vice president’s arrest.” Greetings, fellow Duhlings! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of political drama and diplomatic chaos straight from the land of Ecuador. So, picture this: the Ecuadorian Police decided…

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World News

“NASA Saves Voyager 1 from Cosmic Insanity: Probe No Longer Speaking Alien Language”

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“NASA Saves Voyager 1 from Cosmic Insanity: Probe No Longer Speaking Alien Language” So, it turns out that the Voyager 1 spacecraft has been on a bit of a bender lately, thanks to some corrupted memory hardware causing it to transmit gibberish to mission control. I mean, who knew that even in the vast emptiness…

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Science News

Ozempic users shocked by unexpected pregnancies Is it a miracle or a curse?

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Ozempic users shocked by unexpected pregnancies Is it a miracle or a curse? So, it turns out that popping a pill to control your blood sugar or shed some pounds might just lead to a little surprise in the form of a baby. Who knew that Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, and Zepbound were the new fertility…

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Health News

Michael Douglas Shocked to Discover Marvel Costar as Long-Lost Relative

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Michael Douglas Shocked to Discover Marvel Costar as Long-Lost Relative Michael Douglas, the man who made greed look good in Wall Street and brought a whole new meaning to the term “interrogation scene” in Basic Instinct, has found himself in the midst of a Hollywood family drama that even the most seasoned screenwriter would struggle…

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Entertainment News

“Charity Founder Shocked Earthlings Use ‘Systematic Car Attacks’ for Aid Distribution”

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“Charity Founder Shocked Earthlings Use ‘Systematic Car Attacks’ for Aid Distribution” Greetings, fellow Earthlings! It is I, Zog, the intrepid Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans of your delightful planet. Today’s headline: Israel accused of playing a twisted game of “Whack-A-Mole” with aid workers in Gaza. Yes, you…

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World News

“Stellar Blade Devs Shock Fans by Actually Prioritizing Gameplay Over Greed”

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“Stellar Blade Devs Shock Fans by Actually Prioritizing Gameplay Over Greed” So, here we are in the world of gaming, where microtransactions have become as common as a Kardashian selfie. But fear not, dear gamers, for the developers of Stellar Blade have decided to take a stand against this cash-grabbing trend. That’s right, no microtransactions…

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Technology News

“Broken bones and bruised egos: Itzulia Basque Country stage 4 crash chaos ensues”

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“Broken bones and bruised egos: Itzulia Basque Country stage 4 crash chaos ensues” Oh, the drama! It seems like the Itzulia Basque Country race turned into a real-life soap opera with all the crashes and injuries. Move over, Days of Our Lives, we’ve got Jonas Vingegaard and Remco Evenepoel stealing the spotlight with their broken…

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Sports News

“Parents fear kids’ retinas will be toast from eclipse, demand DOE action!”

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“Parents fear kids’ retinas will be toast from eclipse, demand DOE action!” So, apparently parents are losing their minds over the upcoming solar eclipse, fearing that their precious little angels will burn their retinas out from staring at the sun like a bunch of tiny daredevils. I mean, sure, it’s a rare event and all,…

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Science News

“Friendship Fiasco: Babys Aunt Banned from Babysitting, Wife’s Jealousy Revealed”

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“Friendship Fiasco: Babys Aunt Banned from Babysitting, Wife’s Jealousy Revealed” So, apparently being dubbed the “baby’s aunt” doesn’t come with the privilege of actually babysitting. Talk about a slap in the face! This poor woman is left wondering why she’s being kept at arm’s length when it comes to taking care of her best friend’s…

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Health News