“Earth Politicians Point Fingers While Ukrainians Perish; Water Cooler Talk Material?”

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“Earth Politicians Point Fingers While Ukrainians Perish; Water Cooler Talk Material?” Greetings, my fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the bizarre planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of political tomfoolery and incompetence that is sure to leave you scratching your non-existent heads….

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World News

Cleveland Browns VP trolls NFL with ambiguous draft strategy: “QB or nah?”

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Cleveland Browns VP trolls NFL with ambiguous draft strategy: “QB or nah?” So, apparently the Cleveland Browns are feeling a bit wishy-washy about their draft strategy. De facto General Manager Eliot Wolf is out here acting like he’s some kind of Zen master, preaching about being open to all possibilities for the upcoming NFL draft….

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Sports News

“Starfields: A Galactic Waiting Game or Just Another Cosmic Disappointment?”

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“Starfields: A Galactic Waiting Game or Just Another Cosmic Disappointment?” So, it seems like the folks over at Starfields have finally decided to grace us with some updates after leaving us hanging for what feels like an eternity. I mean, seriously, it’s been over seven months since this sci-fi RPG landed on our screens, and…

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Technology News

“Book Conservation Lab Unveils Office Guillotine – Quick Someone Get This Book a Doctor!”

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“Book Conservation Lab Unveils Office Guillotine – Quick Someone Get This Book a Doctor!” So, apparently there’s a book conservation lab at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. And get this – they have a guillotine. Yes, you heard me right, a guillotine. Because nothing says “preserving literary treasures” quite like a good old-fashioned beheading, am…

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Science News

Eat right or your intermittent fasting efforts will be a waste of time

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Eat right or your intermittent fasting efforts will be a waste of time So, you’ve heard about this magical weight loss solution called intermittent fasting, huh? Well, buckle up buttercup, because it’s not as easy as just skipping breakfast and calling it a day. One dietitian says you have to adhere to some strict guidelines…

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Health News

“Trans Runner Overcomes Gender Barrier, Wins Right to Compete with Girls”

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“Trans Runner Overcomes Gender Barrier, Wins Right to Compete with Girls” So, apparently, there’s a whole big hoopla going on in West Virginia over a transgender runner named Becky PepperJackson who just wants to lace up her sneakers and hit the cross country trails with her fellow high school girls. But oh no, that’s just…

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US News

Bluey bites the dust: Parents rejoice, kids cry, world turns upside down

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Bluey bites the dust: Parents rejoice, kids cry, world turns upside down Did you see a parent crying today? No, they weren’t shedding tears over their child’s latest temper tantrum or failed math test. They were mourning the impending end of the beloved children’s TV show, Bluey. Yes, folks, the end is near for the…

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Entertainment News

“Former WWE CEO Janel Grant: From Controversy to Comeback Queen”

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“Former WWE CEO Janel Grant: From Controversy to Comeback Queen” So, here we are again, folks. Former WWE CEO Janel Grant is back in the spotlight, and not for the reasons she would have hoped for. After leaving the company in a cloud of controversy, Grant is now facing a lawsuit from some disgruntled ex-employees…

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Entertainment News

Local Heroes Shine Bright: Community Organization’s Selfless Acts Leave Many in Awe.

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Local Heroes Shine Bright: Community Organization’s Selfless Acts Leave Many in Awe. So, let’s talk about Patrick Clancy, the marathon-running dad with a heart of gold. While most people struggle to get off the couch, this guy decided to run a marathon in honor of his three late children. I mean, talk about overachieving. Not…

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Sports News

Man dies in police custody after seeking mental health treatment, sparking community outrage.

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Man dies in police custody after seeking mental health treatment, sparking community outrage. So, there I was, scrolling through the latest news updates, when I came across a headline that made me do a double-take. A 37-year-old man, Laison Crenshaw, decided to hold his mother’s hand and stroll on into Dell Seton Medical Center in…

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Science News

“Intermittent Fasting: Lose Weight or Just Hangry? Dietitian Spills the Beans!”

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“Intermittent Fasting: Lose Weight or Just Hangry? Dietitian Spills the Beans!” So, apparently intermittent fasting is all the rage these days. You know, that thing where you starve yourself for a certain number of hours and then stuff your face with whatever you want during a small window of time. Sounds like a blast, right?…

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Health News

Trans Runner Triumphs Over Bigots: Becky PepperJackson Allowed on Girls Team

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Trans Runner Triumphs Over Bigots: Becky PepperJackson Allowed on Girls Team So, here we are in the wild world of high school sports, where apparently the biggest controversy of the day is whether a transgender student should be allowed to run on the girls cross country team. I mean, forget about funding for proper equipment…

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US News

“Teenagers are horrific, but Lily Gladstone will truly petrify you in this haunting series”

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“Teenagers are horrific, but Lily Gladstone will truly petrify you in this haunting series” So, Lily Gladstone, the queen of captivating performances, is back at it again, folks! This time, she’s set to star in a mysterious and dark limited series that’s already got the entertainment industry buzzing like a beehive on steroids. Sources are…

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Entertainment News

“Old Dog Learns New Tricks: PS1 Handheld Revives Nostalgia for Retro Gamers”

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“Old Dog Learns New Tricks: PS1 Handheld Revives Nostalgia for Retro Gamers” So, apparently, someone in Florida decided that the original PlayStation console just wasn’t cool enough. Instead of leaving it to gather dust in a forgotten corner, this modder took matters into their own hands and transformed it into a handheld device. And how…

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Technology News

‘Biden plays mediator in Mideast chaos caused by intergalactic drama.’

Posted on By Zog Wakk

‘Biden plays mediator in Mideast chaos caused by intergalactic drama.’ Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to shed some light on the latest antics of your world leaders. Strap in, folks, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the absurdity that is Earth politics. So,…

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World News

“Ozempic vs FenPhen: Weight Loss Wars Heat Up in the Medicine Cabinet”

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“Ozempic vs FenPhen: Weight Loss Wars Heat Up in the Medicine Cabinet” So, apparently there’s a new weight loss drug on the market that’s got everyone buzzing. Move over FenPhen, there’s a new sheriff in town and its name is Ozempic. Now, some people are shaking in their oversized boots at the thought of another…

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Health News

“Chicago: Brace for Severe Weather and Hail, Bring Out Your Umbrellas and Helmets!”

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“Chicago: Brace for Severe Weather and Hail, Bring Out Your Umbrellas and Helmets!” So, apparently the weather in Illinois is about to throw a temper tantrum like a toddler who didn’t get their favorite toy. According to the NBC 5 Storm Team, we can expect heavy rain, gusty winds, and possibly even some large hail….

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US News

“Bang! Pasadena Police Department adds another notch to their trigger-happy belt”

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“Bang! Pasadena Police Department adds another notch to their trigger-happy belt” So, here we go again with another thrilling episode of “Cops Gone Wild” in Pasadena. It seems like the Pasadena Police Department just can’t resist a good ol’ game of cops and robbers, especially when it ends in someone getting shot. In this latest…

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US News

Snook Joins Stranger Things: Upside Down or Just Desperate?

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Snook Joins Stranger Things: Upside Down or Just Desperate? The Olivier Awards 2024 winners have been unveiled, and let me tell you, it was a night to remember. Sarah Snook, known for her role in the hit TV series Succession, took home a well-deserved award. And if that wasn’t enough, she’s also set to join…

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Entertainment News

“Bluesky lifts ban on heads of state – because who needs privacy anyway?”

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“Bluesky lifts ban on heads of state – because who needs privacy anyway?” So, the exclusive club of Bluesky has finally decided to open its doors to the heads of state. Because nothing screams “free speech and open communication” like giving world leaders a platform to tweet their random thoughts and opinions, right? I can…

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Technology News

“OJ Simpson: From NFL star to mob boss? The shocking truth revealed!”

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“OJ Simpson: From NFL star to mob boss? The shocking truth revealed!” So, apparently OJ Simpson has decided to add a new chapter to his already colorful life story by allegedly hiring goons from the Gambino mob family to take out his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson. I mean, talk about holding a grudge! Most people…

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Sports News

Blackfoot Confederacy DNA Study Reveals Ancestry Dating Back 18000 Years: Ice Age Ancestors Unearthed

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Blackfoot Confederacy DNA Study Reveals Ancestry Dating Back 18000 Years: Ice Age Ancestors Unearthed So, apparently, the Blackfoot Confederacy has a genetic lineage that goes back 18000 years. That’s right, 18000 years! I didn’t even know they had DNA testing back then, but hey, you learn something new every day, right? I can just imagine…

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Science News

“Trump’s Rhetorical Warfare: Predictably Extreme or Just Extremely Predictable?”

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“Trump’s Rhetorical Warfare: Predictably Extreme or Just Extremely Predictable?” Ah, Donald Trump, the gift that keeps on giving to late-night comedians and political analysts alike. With his knack for stirring up controversy and his love for extreme rhetoric, it’s no wonder he’s always making headlines. From his first indictment to his potential 2024 campaign, Trump…

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US News

Conjoined twins break records, defy odds, and identify as different genders – RIP Lori and George

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Conjoined twins break records, defy odds, and identify as different genders – RIP Lori and George Well, well, well, it looks like the world has lost a pair of record-breaking conjoined twins. Lori and George Schappell, who were not only the oldest conjoined twins on the planet but also the first to identify as different…

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Entertainment News

‘Eleanor Coppola, Filmmaker and Wife of Francis Ford Coppola, Dies at 87: RIP Hollywood Icon’

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‘Eleanor Coppola, Filmmaker and Wife of Francis Ford Coppola, Dies at 87: RIP Hollywood Icon’ So, it looks like the film industry has lost another legend. Eleanor Coppola, the wife of Francis Ford Coppola and mother to Sofia Coppola, has shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 87. I guess even…

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Entertainment News