“Highway Melts Under Heat, Crews Return to Fix Mess. Traffic Chaos Ensues”
Ah, the joys of modern transportation. One minute you’re cruising down Interstate 95, blasting your favorite tunes, and the next minute you’re stuck in traffic because some genius decided to turn a bridge into a puddle of molten metal.
Yes, folks, that’s right. The Fairfield Avenue span on I95 melted like a popsicle in the sun after a gas-filled tanker truck crashed and burst into flames. I guess someone forgot to tell the bridge that it’s not supposed to play with fire.
But fear not, dear readers, for the brave crews are back in Norwalk to finish demolishing the bridge and clean up the mess. It’s like watching a bunch of ants trying to rebuild their anthill after a kid stomped on it.
Both sides of the highway remain closed between Exist 14 and 16, so if you were planning on taking a leisurely drive through that area, you might want to reconsider. Unless, of course, you enjoy sitting in traffic and watching construction workers play with heavy machinery. In that case, knock yourself out.
The cause of the accident is still under investigation, but I think we can all agree that it was probably a combination of bad luck, bad driving, and bad decisions. But hey, who needs specifics when you can just blame it on the universe being in a bad mood that day?
Drivers are being urged to use caution when passing through the area, as if they needed a reminder after witnessing a bridge literally melt into a puddle. I mean, if that’s not a sign to drive carefully, I don’t know what is.
In the meantime, officials are working diligently to clear the site and make the necessary repairs. Let’s just hope they don’t accidentally turn another bridge into a modern art installation in the process.
So, dear readers, if you find yourself stuck in traffic on I95 this week, just remember that it could be worse. You could be the poor soul who has to explain to their boss why they’re late for work because a bridge decided to take an impromptu vacation.
Stay safe out there, and may your bridges remain solid and un-melted.