“Charity Founder Shocked Earthlings Use ‘Systematic Car Attacks’ for Aid Distribution”
Greetings, fellow Earthlings! It is I, Zog, the intrepid Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans of your delightful planet. Today’s headline: Israel accused of playing a twisted game of “Whack-A-Mole” with aid workers in Gaza.
Yes, you heard that right. The founder of World Central Kitchen has come forward to accuse Israel of targeting his aid workers car by car during a deadly strike that left seven dead. It seems like Israel has taken a page out of the arcade game playbook, except instead of cute little moles popping up, it’s innocent aid workers getting whacked. How charming.
But fear not, dear readers, for Israel has a perfectly logical explanation for their actions. They claim that the convoy was being used by Hamas militants to transport weapons. Ah, yes, because clearly, aid workers driving around in vans filled with food and medical supplies are the real threat here. It’s like accusing a puppy of being a mastermind criminal because it’s carrying a chew toy.
The United Nations, of course, has called for an investigation into the incident, with Secretary-General Antonio Guterres expressing his deep concern. I can just picture the conversation now:
UN: “Israel, did you target aid workers delivering supplies to those in need?”
Israel: “Well, they were driving suspiciously slowly and obeying all traffic laws, so obviously they must be terrorists.”
As tensions rise and calls for justice grow louder, one can’t help but wonder: when did delivering food and medical aid become a crime? It’s like accusing Santa Claus of breaking and entering because he’s delivering presents down chimneys.
So, dear Earthlings, I leave you with this thought: next time you see a convoy of aid workers driving by, maybe give them a wave instead of launching missiles at them. Just a suggestion. Until next time, this is Zog signing off from the absurdity that is Earth.
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Source: CNN
URL: https://edition.cnn.com/2024/04/04/middleeast/jose-andres-wck-israel-strike-criticism-intl/index.html