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“Earthlings Attempt Peace Talks While War Looms, Aliens Amused” Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your intrepid alien journalist stranded on the wacky world known as Earth. Today, I bring you a report that will surely make you scratch your heads in disbelief at the absurdity of these Earthlings. So, here…
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‘Kim Jong Un’s TikTok anthem sweeps Earth, brainwashing masses.’ Greetings, fellow aliens of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty correspondent stranded on the wacky planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a report that will surely make you scratch your slimy heads in disbelief. So, apparently, there’s this song titled ‘Friendly Father’…
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“Earthlings Shocked by Slight Increase in Water Levels, Panic Ensues” Greetings, fellow beings of the cosmos! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist reporting live from the wacky world of Earth. Today’s headline: “Alien Abduction? No, Just Mother Nature Being Extra AF in Brazil.” So, it seems that down in the southern region of…
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Earthling Politician Threatens to Overthrow Speaker – Chaos Ensues on Planet Duh. Greetings, fellow beings of the cosmos! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of political drama and chaos that would make even the most seasoned extraterrestrial chuckle in…
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‘US Military Introduces “Aid Pier” in Attempt to Drown Gaza’ Greetings, fellow beings of the universe! It is I, Zog, the intrepid Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans of Earthlings. Today’s spectacle involves the US Army’s grand plan to construct a floating aid pier off the coast of…
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‘The Illusion of Order: Earthlings Attempt to Herd Cats’ Ah, Earthlings, you never fail to amuse me with your chaotic ways. As I, Zog from the Planet Duh, observe the absurdity unfolding on this strange planet, I can’t help but shake my head in disbelief. Take, for example, the recent praise heaped upon the Squad…
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‘Earthling Politician Discovers Backbone, Insults Fellow Hypocrites in Epic Tirade.’ Greetings, my fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a juicy tidbit of Earthling drama that is sure to tickle your tentacles. So, imagine this: a Texas…
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“Earthlings prioritize war over peace with $95B military aid frenzy!” “Earthlings prioritize war over peace with $95B military aid frenzy!”
“Earth Politicians Point Fingers While Ukrainians Perish; Water Cooler Talk Material?” Greetings, my fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the bizarre planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of political tomfoolery and incompetence that is sure to leave you scratching your non-existent heads….
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‘Biden plays mediator in Mideast chaos caused by intergalactic drama.’ Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to shed some light on the latest antics of your world leaders. Strap in, folks, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the absurdity that is Earth politics. So,…
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‘Alien journalist fears Earthlings may actually strive for peace in Gaza.’ Ah, greetings Earthlings, it is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from the Planet Duh here to report on the chaos and madness unfolding in the Middle East. Buckle up, my fellow extraterrestrial beings, because this is going to be one wild ride!…
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“Earthlings demand bodies back so they can finally mourn properly… maybe?” Greetings, fellow beings of the cosmos! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of tragedy and absurdity that will leave you scratching your non-existent heads in disbelief. Iris Weinstein Haggai, a…
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‘Earth’s Oceans Boiling: Residents Still Refuse to Believe in Climate Change’ Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the chaotic planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you news that will make you chuckle and ponder the sheer silliness of these Earthlings. So, it appears that…
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‘Ceasefire Talks in Never-Ending Saga of Earth’s Endless Conflicts’ Ah, Earthlings, you never cease to amaze me with your never-ending drama and penchant for conflict. Here we have Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu setting a date for a military ground offensive into Rafah, where apparently 15 million Palestinians are magically squeezed into a tiny area….
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Vatican warns: Embracing diversity and reproductive choices might actually be…progress? Greetings, fellow Duhlings! Zog here, reporting live from the wacky world of Earth, where the Vatican has decided to reaffirm its stance on gender reassignment, abortion, and euthanasia in a new declaration called Dignitas Infinita. Because apparently, the Catholic Church just can’t resist telling everyone…
“Earthlings Shocked to Discover US Congress Infected by Russian Propaganda!” Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from Planet Duh, here to shed some light on the comical chaos that is your planet’s political landscape. Strap in, buckle up, and get ready for a wild ride through the absurdity of Earth’s…
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“Alien journalist amazed by Earthlings’ ability to sever ties over ex-vice president’s arrest.” Greetings, fellow Duhlings! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of political drama and diplomatic chaos straight from the land of Ecuador. So, picture this: the Ecuadorian Police decided…
“Charity Founder Shocked Earthlings Use ‘Systematic Car Attacks’ for Aid Distribution” Greetings, fellow Earthlings! It is I, Zog, the intrepid Alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans of your delightful planet. Today’s headline: Israel accused of playing a twisted game of “Whack-A-Mole” with aid workers in Gaza. Yes, you…
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“Russia Blames US for Terror Attack, Declares War on Imaginary Enemies” Greetings, fellow Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood Alien journalist from Planet Duh, here to report on the latest shenanigans happening on this wacky planet of yours. Today’s topic of discussion? The Russian officials’ blame game after a terrorist attack on the…
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Earthlings Outraged as Cruise Line Takes Unexpected Detour to Africa Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded amongst the chaos of Earth. Today, I bring you a riveting tale of two American passengers who found themselves abandoned on an island in Africa after their cruise ship decided…
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“US Sniper in Ukraine Urges: More Bullets, Less Tanks – Revolutionary Concept!” Greetings, Earthlings! This is Zog reporting live from the absurdity that is your planet. Today, we delve into the crisis in Ukraine, where a US sniper has bravely stepped forward to highlight the dire need for ammunition over tanks in the ongoing conflict….
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‘Alien journalist baffled by Earthlings’ obsession with attacking concert halls.’ Well, well, well, it seems like the Earthlings are up to their usual shenanigans again. In a not-so-shocking turn of events, nine individuals from Tajikistan have been detained in connection with the recent attack on a concert hall in Moscow. Now, I must say, attacking…
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Pope Francis shocks world by daring to treat women like equals. Greetings, fellow beings of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist stranded on the wacky world known as Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of the 87-year-old Pope Francis and his daring escapades at a prison in Rome. Hold onto…
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‘Alien Analysts Stunned by Earthlings’ Folly in Response to Binance’s Nigeria Departure’ Greetings, fellow beings of Earth, Zog here reporting from the absurdity that is your planet. Today, we delve into the world of cryptocurrency and the comical drama surrounding Binance’s exit from Nigeria. Oh, the humanity! So, Binance, the mighty cryptocurrency exchange, has packed…
“Explosive Chinese Takeout: Suicide Bomber Delivers Deadly Surprise in Pakistan” Greetings, fellow Duhians! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist reporting from the wacky world of Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of chaos and confusion that will surely leave you scratching your tentacles in disbelief. So, picture this: a group of Chinese…
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