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So, apparently, the beaches in California are now more dangerous than a minefield in a war zone. A mother has been slapped with an 88000 fine because her kids mistook clams for seashells. Yes, you heard that right. Clams. Those slimy little buggers that live in the sand and occasionally squirt water at you when…
Read More ““Clam-gate: Mother fined 88K for kids’ innocent beach blunder – Outrage ensues”” »
So, it looks like the protesters at Drexel University have finally packed up their tents and cleared out without incident. I guess they finally realized that camping out on a college campus isn’t exactly the most effective way to make a statement. But fear not, my fellow cynics, a new encampment has popped up in…
Read More ““Protesters clear out of Drexel encampment, new one pops up in Clark Park”” »
So, apparently, more Americans are now choosing to puff on the devil’s lettuce rather than chug down the good ol’ liquid courage. In a shocking turn of events, a recent study has revealed that daily marijuana use in the United States has officially surpassed daily alcohol consumption. Looks like the stoners are winning this round,…
Read More “Marijuana Madness: Daily Use Surpasses Alcohol Consumption in the US” »
So, it looks like more Americans are lighting up a joint than cracking open a cold one these days. That’s right, folks, according to a recent study, daily marijuana use has surpassed daily alcohol consumption in the good ol’ US of A. Looks like the green stuff is on the rise while the booze is…
Read More “Alcohol is so last season: Marijuana now America’s daily drug of choice!” »
So, the Kansas City metro area has decided to spice things up a bit with some tornado watches because apparently, regular old rain and sunshine just aren’t cutting it anymore. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of ‘Will my house get blown away today?’ It’s like Mother Nature’s version of Russian roulette. The…
Read More ““Kansas City Weather: Tornado Watch or Just Another Day in the Midwest?”” »
So, it seems like Mother Nature has decided to throw a little temper tantrum in the metro area, causing some major flash flooding. And what’s the best way to stay updated on the chaos? Well, apparently it’s not by looking out your window or listening to the radio like a normal person. No, no, we…
Read More ““Flash Floods: Check Map or Risk Becoming New Water Feature in Metro”” »
So, apparently Mother Nature was feeling a little feisty in Oklahoma over the weekend. Severe storms decided to crash the party, bringing along multiple tornadoes and strong winds to wreak havoc on the state. Sky 5, the lone ranger news helicopter, was there to capture all the chaos from above. The aerial footage showed a…
Read More ““Oklahoma Left in Ruins: Sky 5 Catches Mother Nature’s Wrath Unfiltered”” »
So, it seems President Joe Biden is gearing up to deliver a commencement speech at Morehouse College that will make even the most stoic of graduates shed a tear or two. After weeks of consulting with prominent Black public figures, the Biden administration is pulling out all the stops to ensure this speech is a…
Read More “Biden’s Morehouse Speech: Amplifying Student Voices or Just Another Political Ploy?” »
Alright, folks, get ready for the Biden Show at Morehouse College! That’s right, President Joe Biden is gearing up to deliver a commencement speech that will make you laugh, cry, and wonder if you accidentally stumbled into a comedy club instead of a graduation ceremony. After weeks of consulting with some prominent Black public figures,…
Read More “Biden’s Morehouse Commencement Speech: Triumph, Protest, and Spike Lee Approved!” »
Ah, North Carolina, where the debates are emotional and the decisions are questionable. In a move that has left many scratching their heads (and possibly their faces, since they can’t wear masks anymore), the North Carolina Senate has voted to ban individuals from wearing masks in public for health reasons. Because nothing says public safety…
Read More ““North Carolina Senate Bans Masks in Public: Pandemic or Fashion Faux Pas?”” »
So, the Supreme Court has decided to give Louisiana the green light to use their questionable voting map for the upcoming elections. Because who needs fair representation when you can just draw some squiggly lines on a map and call it a day, am I right? The decision comes after voting rights advocates raised concerns…
Read More “Supreme Court greenlights Louisiana voting map, minority voters left seeing red.” »
So, it looks like Amazon isn’t just delivering packages these days, they’re also delivering bullets! In a shocking turn of events, a man decided to spice up his Amazon shopping experience by firing a shot at a security guard inside a facility in Ohio. I guess he was just really passionate about getting that Prime…
Read More “Amazon Shooter Misses Target, Hits Panic Button Instead” »
So, here we go again with another corrupt politician getting their day in court. Senator Bob Menendez, a Democrat from New Jersey, is facing bribery and conspiracy charges for allegedly accepting gifts and campaign contributions in exchange for political favors. And let’s be real, if he’s found guilty, he could be spending the next 20…
Read More ““Menendez Trial: Where Political Favors Are Bought with Gold and Cash…Literally”” »
So, it looks like the Keystone State has finally kicked one of its own to the curb. The Pennsylvania State Police have bid farewell to the trooper who thought it was a great idea to flex his muscles and arrest two LGBTQ officials on the side of I76. In a move that surprised absolutely no…
So, apparently, murdering your own 5-year-old daughter is frowned upon in society. Who knew? Adam Montgomery, the man who thought it was a good idea to take his daughter’s life, is being sentenced today. And let me tell you, the tension in the courtroom is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Or,…
Read More ““Life without parole for man who couldn’t even handle a 5-year-old daughter”” »
“Highway Melts Under Heat, Crews Return to Fix Mess. Traffic Chaos Ensues” Ah, the joys of modern transportation. One minute you’re cruising down Interstate 95, blasting your favorite tunes, and the next minute you’re stuck in traffic because some genius decided to turn a bridge into a puddle of molten metal. Yes, folks, that’s right….
Read More ““Highway Melts Under Heat, Crews Return to Fix Mess. Traffic Chaos Ensues”” »
Bridge meltdown sparks chaos on I95: Demolition crew battles to restore order. So, it looks like the good ol’ Fairfield Avenue span couldn’t handle the heat of the fire and decided to take an impromptu vacation from being an actual bridge. I mean, who needs a fully intact bridge these days anyway, right? Workers were…
Read More “Bridge meltdown sparks chaos on I95: Demolition crew battles to restore order.” »
“Fairfield Avenue Span: From Bridge to BBQ – I95’s Latest Hot Spot” So, here we go again, folks! Another day, another highway closure due to a fiery disaster caused by a gas-filled tanker truck. It’s like a broken record at this point. I mean, who knew that gasoline and fire don’t mix well? Crews have…
Read More ““Fairfield Avenue Span: From Bridge to BBQ – I95’s Latest Hot Spot”” »
Bridge melts under fiery chaos; crews race to rebuild highway from hell. So, it looks like the fiery pits of hell decided to make a pit stop on Interstate 95 in Norwalk, Connecticut. A gas-filled tanker truck crashed and burst into flames, causing the Fairfield Avenue span to melt like a popsicle on a hot…
Read More “Bridge melts under fiery chaos; crews race to rebuild highway from hell.” »
“Middle School Mayhem: Armed student shot, community in shock, authorities promise ‘thorough investigation’” So, apparently, the wild west has made a comeback in Wisconsin. In a shocking turn of events, a student was shot by authorities outside a middle school for allegedly being armed. I mean, forget dodgeball, it looks like they’re playing real-life Call…
Columbia University: Where Pro-Palestinian Activism Thrives and Pro-Israel Students Wither As the twoweek standoff between proPalestinian protesters and college administrators at Columbia University in New York finally came to a head, tensions were high and emotions were running rampant. It was like a dramatic soap opera playing out on the prestigious campus, with students and…
“Trump’s Hush Money Trial: A Comedy of Errors or a Political Conspiracy?” So, it looks like Attorney Keith Davidson, the man who represented Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, is being grilled like a hamburger on a hot summer day by prosecutors in the Donald Trump hush money trial. I can only imagine the sweat pouring…
Read More ““Trump’s Hush Money Trial: A Comedy of Errors or a Political Conspiracy?”” »
Trump and DeSantis plot political takeover over brunch at Mar-a-Lago. So, apparently, Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis decided to have a little pow-wow at Trump’s fancy Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. I can only imagine the level of ego in that room – it’s probably a good thing they didn’t meet at the same time as…
Read More “Trump and DeSantis plot political takeover over brunch at Mar-a-Lago.” »
Maryland school official’s AI hoax exposes fabricated grading system, sparking uproar and disbelief. Alright, folks, hold onto your hats because we’ve got a real doozy of a story for you today. It seems that a former athletic director at Pikesville High School has been caught red-handed in a scandal involving artificial intelligence and some good…
AI Impersonation Prank at Pikesville High School Exposed: Former Official Faces Fraud Charges! So, apparently the former athletic director at Pikesville High School thought they could pull a fast one on everyone by pretending to have invented some groundbreaking AI technology. Talk about a real-life episode of “The Office” meets “Black Mirror”. I mean, who…
