Category: Science News

“Nebraska: Missing Monday’s eclipse? Don’t worry, you have a few decades to spare!” Did you miss Monday’s solar eclipse in Nebraska? Well, fear not my fellow Nebraskans, you’ll have a few more chances to catch this celestial extravaganza in the next couple of decades. Who needs total solar eclipses anyway, right? We’ll take what we…

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“New York City in for a treat, Texas gets the short end of the eclipse stick” So, apparently, New York City is going to have clear skies for the 2024 solar eclipse. Big whoop. I mean, sure, New Yorkers will have a good shot of seeing the eclipse, but let’s be real, they probably have…

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“NASA Saves Voyager 1 from Cosmic Insanity: Probe No Longer Speaking Alien Language” So, it turns out that the Voyager 1 spacecraft has been on a bit of a bender lately, thanks to some corrupted memory hardware causing it to transmit gibberish to mission control. I mean, who knew that even in the vast emptiness…

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“Parents fear kids’ retinas will be toast from eclipse, demand DOE action!” So, apparently parents are losing their minds over the upcoming solar eclipse, fearing that their precious little angels will burn their retinas out from staring at the sun like a bunch of tiny daredevils. I mean, sure, it’s a rare event and all,…

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“Vulcan rocket launch delayed due to uncertainty over payload – Space Force certification pending?” So, it looks like United Launch Alliance is having a little bit of trouble getting their Vulcan rocket off the ground. After their big debut in January, where they probably popped some champagne and high-fived each other, it seems like they’re…

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“105-Year-Old Man Ready for 13th Solar Eclipse: Age is Just a Number” Alright folks, hold onto your hats because we’ve got a real thrill-seeker on our hands. Laverne Biser, a 105-year-old retired engineer, has become somewhat of a solar eclipse enthusiast. That’s right, this guy has traveled far and wide to witness the magic of…

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“Mindful Walking: The Cure for Whirring Thoughts and Stiff Posture, or Just Another Fad?” So, here I was, attempting to improve my wellbeing and posture by taking a simple stroll outside. Little did I know, this seemingly innocent activity would turn into a weeklong journey of mindfulness and self-discovery. As I set out on my…

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“North Texans’ Eclipse Viewing Dreams Dashed by Weather: Prepare for Cloudy Disappointment!” So, it looks like Mother Nature is about to rain on our eclipse parade here in North Texas. The National Weather Service in Fort Worth is basically telling us, “Hey, you might have a 15% chance of actually seeing this solar eclipse, but…

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Boeing and NASA’s Starliner test flight delayed again – space exploration or just space drama? So, surprise surprise, Boeing and NASA have once again pushed back the Starliner Crewed Flight Test, this time to May 1st, 2024. Because, you know, scheduling at the International Space Station is just so hard to coordinate. I mean, who…

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“Zombie star explosion leaves cosmic mess – Daily Telescope uncovers stellar drama” So, apparently, incomplete explosions can leave behind a “zombie star.” I don’t know about you, but that sounds like something straight out of a B-movie horror flick. Picture it now: a star that refuses to die, lurking in the depths of space, ready…

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“Blind Ambition: Don’t Lose Your Vision to the Solar Eclipse Hype” So, apparently staring directly at the sun during the upcoming total solar eclipse could lead to permanent eye damage. Who would have thought, right? I mean, who needs eyesight anyway? It’s overrated. According to these brilliant scientists, looking at the sun without proper eye…

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“Kermitops gratus: The Original Hipster Frog or Just a Green Poser?” So, apparently scientists have discovered a new species of ancient amphibian that they have decided to name after our favorite felt-covered, banjo-playing, pig-wooing frog, Kermit. Yes, you heard that right. Kermit the Frog now has a distant cousin named Kermitops gratus. I can already…

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“Ring of fire eclipse to grace New England – don’t burn your retinas!” So, apparently on April 8th, parts of northern New England will be in the path of totality for a solar eclipse. Yes, you heard that right – totality! While the Greater Boston area will only get a measly 93% eclipse. I mean,…

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“Russian Rocket’s Second Chance: Astronauts Blast Off to ISS After Drama-Filled Delay” So, it looks like the Russian Soyuz rocket decided to give it another go after its little temper tantrum the other day. I mean, who can blame it for wanting a do-over? We’ve all had those moments where we just need to take…

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NASA’s Astronaut Search: Are You Ready to Leave Earth Behind? So, NASA is on the hunt for a new batch of space cowboys…I mean astronauts. And let me tell you, the requirements are no joke. You need a masters degree in a STEM field, at least two years of relevant experience, and the ability to…

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Supervolcano eruption sparked human migration out of Africa 74,000 years ago – CNN’s Wonder Theory So, apparently, 74,000 years ago, Sumatra’s Mount Toba decided to throw a massive tantrum and spew out a supereruption that could be seen from space. Talk about making a statement. And now, thanks to some diligent archaeologists in Ethiopia, we’ve…

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“Blinded by the Eclipse: How Staring at the Sun Shaped Ancient Societies” So, apparently staring directly at a solar eclipse isn’t the best idea. Who would’ve thought, right? I mean, it’s not like the sun is a giant ball of fire or anything. But apparently, some ancient civilizations didn’t get the memo and ended up…

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“New star set to appear in Northern Crown constellation – astronomers predict stellar drama!” So, apparently, astronomers are predicting that a new star is going to appear in the night sky sometime soon. And no, it’s not just a random star deciding to pop in for a visit. No, this star is going to be…

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Alien Planet Boils Noodles, Scientists Ponder Existence of Intergalactic Ramen Bar Hold onto your hats, folks, because scientists have just uncovered a planet that could give a whole new meaning to the term “hot tub.” That’s right, a boiling ocean world has been discovered just 70 lightyears away, where the surface temperature can reach a…

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Ohioans Prepare for Solar Eclipse: Church becomes “Hallowed Ground” for Viewing; Stock Up on Eye Protection! So, here we are, folks. The stars are aligning, the planets are in perfect harmony, and on April 8th, 2024, a total solar eclipse will grace the skies above our heads. But hold on to your hats, because it…

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“Mars: The Real Mastermind Behind Earth’s Giant Whirlpools – CNN Reveals” So, apparently Mars is not just content with being a distant red dot in the sky, it’s now decided to mess with our oceans too. I mean, what’s next? Mars influencing our love lives? Maybe that’s why my dating life is a disaster –…

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Xenoturbella churro: The Churro-Eating Underwater Worm That’s Blowing Scientists’ Minds So, apparently there’s a new player in the deep ocean game, and it’s not your typical underwater worm. Move over P strickrotti, there’s a new kid on the block â?? Xenoturbella churro. Yes, you heard that right, churro. I guess even worms are getting in…

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“Unveiling the Secrets of Neptune and Uranus: New Moons Discovered in Solar System” So, the latest gossip in the solar system is that Neptune and Uranus have some new friends joining the party. That’s right, folks, Neptune now has a whopping 16 known moons, while Uranus is feeling pretty popular with 28 moons to its…

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“Unleashing Your Creative Spark: Overcoming Dry Spells with Self-Compassion and Perseverance” So, it seems like our dear readers are having some trouble getting their creative juices flowing. And no, we’re not talking about a new smoothie recipe. According to a recent study, many folks out there are stuck in a dry spell when it comes…

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NASA seeks crew willing to endure hellish conditions in Martian ‘habitat’ experiment. So, NASA is looking for some brave souls to play Martian for a year, huh? I guess they finally got tired of sending robots up there to do all the work. I mean, who needs high-tech machines when you can just send a…

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