So, it looks like Lonnie Phelps won’t be making any tackles on the field anytime soon, but he sure did crash and burn off the field. The Browns didn’t waste any time giving him the boot after his little drunk driving escapade. I guess they figured they already had enough trouble stopping offenses on the field, they didn’t need any more off-field drama to deal with.
Phelps, who couldn’t navigate his SUV as well as he could navigate the football field, found himself in hot water after crashing into a restaurant. I guess he thought he was driving through a drive-thru, but ended up driving through a storefront instead. Talk about a real touchdown for stupidity.
The Browns, known for their stellar decision-making on and off the field (insert eye roll here), were quick to distance themselves from Phelps and his antics. I mean, who wants a player who can’t even make it to practice without crashing his car first?
In a statement, the Browns expressed their disappointment in Phelps’ actions and emphasized the importance of accountability within the team. Because nothing says accountability like cutting a player loose after they mess up, am I right?
As for Phelps, well, he’s got a lot of work to do if he wants to salvage his NFL career. Maybe he can start by taking a few driving lessons and investing in a good old-fashioned taxi service. Or maybe he can just stick to playing Madden on his couch, where the only crashing he’ll do is into a bag of Doritos.
And now, for your amusement and enlightenment, here’s a top 10 list of how to make your life better based on Lonnie Phelps’ unfortunate situation:
**Top 10 Ways to Make Your Life Better**
– Don’t drink and drive, especially if you can’t even drive sober.
– If you’re going to crash into something, make sure it’s not a restaurant. They tend to frown upon that sort of thing.
– Learn from your mistakes, unless your mistake is crashing your car while drunk. In that case, just stop being an idiot.
– If you’re a professional athlete, maybe invest in a chauffeur. It’s a lot cheaper than a DUI lawyer.
– Remember, there’s no shame in calling a cab or an Uber. It’s a lot less embarrassing than calling your coach to bail you out of jail.
– If you can’t handle your alcohol, maybe stick to water. Or juice. Or literally anything that won’t land you in handcuffs.
– Think before you act. And if you’re too drunk to think, maybe just go to bed instead of getting behind the wheel.
– Surround yourself with people who will call you out on your BS. Because nothing says friendship like stopping your buddy from crashing into a building.
– Remember, there’s always a second chance, unless you crash your car into a restaurant. Then you’re pretty much toast.
– And finally, don’t be like Lonnie Phelps. Just don’t. It’s really not that hard to not crash your car into a building.
So there you have it, folks. Learn from Lonnie Phelps’ mistakes and maybe, just maybe, your life will be a little bit better for it. Or at least you’ll avoid becoming a punchline in a news article.
Source: NBC Sports
URL: https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/browns-cut-dl-lonnie-phelps-after-his-arrest-for-drunk-driving