So, it looks like Amazon isn’t just delivering packages these days, they’re also delivering bullets! In a shocking turn of events, a man decided to spice up his Amazon shopping experience by firing a shot at a security guard inside a facility in Ohio. I guess he was just really passionate about getting that Prime delivery.
The surveillance video released shows the suspect getting into a heated argument with the security guard before deciding that a bullet would be the best way to settle things. I mean, who needs words when you have a gun, right? Thankfully, the security guard managed to dodge the bullet (literally) and escape unharmed. Maybe he should consider a career in dodgeball after this incident.
The suspect, described as a white male in his 30s, made a swift exit after his failed attempt at being an action movie star. I guess his big Hollywood break will have to wait for another day. But hey, at least he’s got a pretty good disguise going with that black hoodie and dark pants. Maybe he’s auditioning for the next Batman movie?
Amazon, ever the PR pros, released a statement emphasizing their commitment to the safety and security of their employees. Because nothing says “safe workplace” like dodging bullets while you’re trying to clock in for your shift. Maybe they should add bulletproof vests to their employee benefits package?
As the investigation unfolds, police are urging anyone with information to come forward. I mean, it’s not like the suspect was wearing a disguise or anything. A white guy in a black hoodie? Good luck finding him in a crowd of, well, everyone.
In the meantime, employees at the facility are understandably shaken by the incident. I mean, who wouldn’t be after a day at work that involves dodging bullets? Maybe Amazon should consider providing some stress relief activities for their traumatized employees. Yoga classes, anyone?
So, let this be a lesson to all you online shoppers out there. When you hit that “buy now” button on Amazon, just remember that you might be getting more than just a package delivered to your door. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a side of gunfire with your next order. Happy shopping!