Greetings, fellow citizens of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the wacky world of Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of intrigue and absurdity that will surely leave you scratching your non-existent heads. So, it appears that Ukraine is in quite a pickle, with Russia dropping glidebombs on…
So, apparently, the West Coast is on the brink of destruction thanks to the infamous Cascadia Subduction Zone. This underwater fault line is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to unleash a megaquake that could make California’s Big One look like a mere tremor. But hey, no need to panic, right? According to a…
So, it turns out that eating plant-based ultra-processed foods could actually be worse for you than hanging out with a pack of hungry wolves. A new study has found that chomping down on refined grains, potatoes, and sugary beverages can raise your risk of heart disease and early death faster than you can say “kale…
Breaking news, folks! Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, has turned into a scene straight out of a horror movie. State officials are currently investigating the death of a Disneyland employee who tragically fell off a golf cart at the park and hit her head. Yes, you heard that right. A golf cart. At Disneyland….
Read More “Disneyland Ride Death: Happiest Place on Earth or Deadly Danger Zone?” »
So, apparently Senator Bob Menendez is trying to make a comeback as an independent candidate in New Jersey. I guess the old saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” really applies here. But hey, who needs party loyalty when you can just go rogue and run on your own terms, right? I…
Read More “Menendez’s Independent Run: A Political Circus or a Comeback Kid?” »
So, apparently living near an airport could be the reason why you can’t fit into your favorite skinny jeans anymore. According to a new study, regular exposure to loud aircraft noise could be linked to obesity. Nurses living near airports nationwide who endured plane noise of 45 decibels or greater were 5 more likely to…
Read More ““Flight of the Fatties: Aircraft Noise Linked to Obesity Epidemic”” »
Ah, the glamorous life of a Hollywood socialite. Suri Cruise, the 18-year-old daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, was recently spotted cruising through Central Park on a bike, looking every bit the carefree teenager in her funky red and white print pants and white crocheted tank top. Because nothing says “I’m just a regular…
So, apparently Senator Bob Menendez is trying to make a comeback as an independent candidate in New Jersey. I guess the old saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” really applies here. But hey, who needs party loyalty when you can just go rogue and run on your own terms, right? I…
Read More “Menendez’s Independent Run: A Political Circus or a Comeback Kid?” »
In a surprising turn of events, James Gunn has added even more star power to his upcoming Superman movie, with the addition of Mikaela Hoover and Christopher McDonald to the cast. Gunn seems to be filling out the Daily Planet newsroom with a slew of talented actors, including Jenna Fischer and Rainn Wilson. Mikaela Hoover,…
Read More ““James Gunn’s Superman: Daily Planet hires Office alumni, sparks fan frenzy”” »
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Sony recently showcased their divisive space shooter at their latest State of Play event. The game, known as “Astro Bot Concord,” is set to be Sony’s next big live service video game. And guess what? It’s going to cost less than a gourmet cup of coffee at…
Read More “Helldivers 2: Budget-Friendly Alien Slaughter or Just Another Cash Grab?” »
Brandon Graham, the Philadelphia Eagles defensive end, has decided to take a break from sacking quarterbacks to talk about the team’s coaching situation. In a shocking twist, Graham actually thinks the Eagles didn’t have all the right coaches in the right positions last season. I mean, who would have thought that having a bunch of…
Read More “Eagles’ Graham Roasts Former Coaches: “They Were in the Wrong Position… Literally”” »
In a world where climate change is wreaking havoc and hurricanes are becoming stronger and more frequent, Rocket Lab has come to the rescue with their shoebox-sized satellites. Yes, you heard that right, shoebox-sized satellites, because apparently size doesn’t matter when it comes to saving the planet. Rocket Lab, the self-proclaimed superhero of the aerospace…
Read More “Rocket Lab Shoots Climate Satellite into Space, Declares War on Weathermen” »
So, here we are in 2024, still dealing with the same old nonsense about vaccines causing autism. It’s like a bad sequel that just won’t go away, no matter how many times the CDC tries to debunk it. According to a recent study out of the University of California, vaccines are once again exonerated of…
Read More “‘Anti-Vaxxers Still Believe Vaccines Cause Autism: Science, 1; Misinformation, 0’” »
Greetings, fellow citizens of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the wacky world of Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of intrigue and absurdity that will surely leave you scratching your non-existent heads. So, it appears that Ukraine is in quite a pickle, with Russia dropping glidebombs on…
So, apparently Senator Bob Menendez is trying to make a comeback as an independent candidate in New Jersey. I guess the old saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” really applies here. But hey, who needs party loyalty when you can just go rogue and run on your own terms, right? I…
Read More “Menendez’s Independent Run: A Political Circus or a Comeback Kid?” »
In the latest royal update, Prince William shared some insight into how his wife, Kate Middleton, is doing as she continues her battle with cancer. As the Princess of Wales fights this tough battle privately, William reassured the public that Middleton is staying strong and positive. Well, of course she is, she’s a royal after…
So, apparently, Kendall Jenner stumbled upon some top-secret information on Gerry Turner’s phone during a dinner with Kris Jenner. And what was this earth-shattering revelation, you ask? Mockups and designs for a potential fashion line collaboration between Turner and Jenner, along with other high-profile celebrities. Wow, hold the front page, folks! I can just imagine…
Read More “Kendall Jenner’s Phone Peek Reveals Gerry Turner’s Fashion Line Secrets – Scandalous!” »
So, Christian McCaffrey finally decided to grace the 49ers with his presence after skipping out on some optional team activities. I guess he just needed some extra time to perfect his touchdown dances or maybe he was just really busy counting all the money he’s making as an All-Pro running back. But fear not, 49ers…
Read More ““49ers Fans Breathe Easy as McCaffrey Returns; Opposing Defenses Begin to Panic”” »
So, apparently Google has decided that they have the right to keep your phone if you dare to have the audacity to get it repaired with non-original parts. That’s right, folks, Google is basically saying, “If you don’t use our overpriced, fancy-pants OEM parts, we’re keeping your phone hostage!” I mean, talk about a power…
Read More “Google to customers: “Repair your Pixel with nonOEM parts, we’ll keep it!”” »
Greetings, fellow citizens of Planet Duh! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the wacky world of Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of intrigue and absurdity that will surely leave you scratching your non-existent heads. So, it appears that Ukraine is in quite a pickle, with Russia dropping glidebombs on…
So, apparently, the sun is feeling a bit feisty and decided to shoot a coronal mass ejection towards Earth, causing a G1 geomagnetic storm. I mean, who knew the sun had such a temper? Watch out, Earth, you don’t want to make the sun angry! But fear not, dear readers, because this celestial tantrum might…
So, apparently, Kendall Jenner stumbled upon some top-secret information on Gerry Turner’s phone during a dinner with Kris Jenner. And what was this earth-shattering revelation, you ask? Mockups and designs for a potential fashion line collaboration between Turner and Jenner, along with other high-profile celebrities. Wow, hold the front page, folks! I can just imagine…
Read More “Kendall Jenner’s Phone Peek Reveals Gerry Turner’s Fashion Line Secrets – Scandalous!” »
So, apparently Senator Bob Menendez is trying to make a comeback as an independent candidate in New Jersey. I guess the old saying “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” really applies here. But hey, who needs party loyalty when you can just go rogue and run on your own terms, right? I…
Read More “Menendez’s Independent Run: A Political Circus or a Comeback Kid?” »
Ah, Texas. The land of big hats, big trucks, and apparently, big outbreaks of hand foot and mouth disease. Who knew that a fun day at the water park could lead to painful sores in your mouth and seizures? Sounds like a real splash, doesn’t it? In a shocking turn of events, two young boys…
Read More ““Water park fun turns into hand foot and mouth nightmare for Texas boys”” »
So, here we are again with another round of reshoots for a TV adaptation of a classic novel. This time, it’s Brave New World getting the makeover treatment in Atlanta. Why? Because apparently, the first go-round wasn’t up to snuff. But fear not, dear viewers, the production team is on it, working tirelessly to make…
