So, the Denver Broncos are playing musical chairs with their quarterbacks, huh? I guess they couldn’t decide on just one guy to run the offense, so they’re trying out three different options. Talk about indecisive. Maybe they should just draw straws or flip a coin at this point. Jarrett Stidham over in New England seems…
Read More “Patriots’ Stidham: Ready to Fight for QB Spot, Newton be Damned!” »
So, apparently, two teams of scientists have stumbled upon a planet that’s supposed to be habitable. They’re calling it Gliese 12b, because apparently naming it something like “Bob” or “Sandra” would be too simple. This planet is smaller than Earth but bigger than Venus, which basically means it’s like the Goldilocks of planets – not…
So, apparently, the beaches in California are now more dangerous than a minefield in a war zone. A mother has been slapped with an 88000 fine because her kids mistook clams for seashells. Yes, you heard that right. Clams. Those slimy little buggers that live in the sand and occasionally squirt water at you when…
Read More ““Clam-gate: Mother fined 88K for kids’ innocent beach blunder – Outrage ensues”” »
So, apparently magic mushrooms aren’t just for hippies and college students looking to “expand their minds” anymore. According to a recent study from the University of Zurich, psilocybin, the active compound in these funky fungi, can actually induce a state of hyperconnectivity in the brain. That’s right, folks – magic mushrooms are now being hailed…
Read More ““Magic Mushrooms Turn Your Brain into a Trippy Hyperconnected Wonderland”” »
Alright, alright, alright. Hold onto your hats, folks, because we’ve got some juicy celebrity gossip coming your way. It seems that the talented and always stylish Millie Bobby Brown has taken the plunge and tied the knot with her beau, Jake Bongiovi. Yes, you heard that right – the son of none other than Jon…
Greetings, fellow Duhians! It is I, Zog, your trusty alien journalist stranded on the bizarre planet Earth. Today, I bring you a juicy report that will make your antennae twitch with amusement and disbelief. Imagine a scene straight out of a sci-fi movie: a man named Javier Milei, who seems to have mistaken himself for…
So, Daylight Computer thinks they’ve hit the jackpot with their new invention, the Daylight DC1 tablet. Apparently, this thing is supposed to reset our relationship with tech. Yeah, because that’s what we all need, a tablet to save us from ourselves. According to Daylight Computer, the DC1 features a revolutionary display called LivePaper. LivePaper, huh?…
Read More “Daylight DC1 tablet: finally, a screen that won’t fry your brain.” »
Ah, the Strahan family drama continues! Michael Strahan’s daughter Isabella is battling brain cancer at just 16 years old, and to make matters worse, she’s now experiencing memory loss due to new medication. Talk about a double whammy! It’s heart-wrenching to hear about a young girl going through such a tough time, but leave it…
Read More ““Strahan’s daughter battles brain cancer, forgets her memory – blames new meds. Oops!”” »
Ah, the Philadelphia Eagles, always keeping us on our toes with their questionable decisions. In a move that surprised absolutely no one, the Eagles have signed veteran receiver John Ross to a one-year deal. This signing comes hot on the heels of DeVante Parker’s retirement, because apparently, the Eagles just can’t resist swapping out one…
Read More “Eagles Replace Retired Parker with Speedster Ross: Is This the Need for Speed?” »
So, it looks like the protesters at Drexel University have finally packed up their tents and cleared out without incident. I guess they finally realized that camping out on a college campus isn’t exactly the most effective way to make a statement. But fear not, my fellow cynics, a new encampment has popped up in…
Read More ““Protesters clear out of Drexel encampment, new one pops up in Clark Park”” »
So, it seems SpaceX has once again launched a bunch of satellites into space because apparently, the world just can’t get enough of Elon Musk and his Starlink project. I mean, who needs fresh air and nature when you can have high-speed internet beamed down to you from space, right? The Falcon 9 rocket took…
Read More ““SpaceX’s Starlink satellites: Bringing internet to Mars next?”” »
So, apparently, we’ve reached a point where not letting your kids indulge in sugary snacks before dinner makes you a monster parent. I mean, forget about teaching them healthy eating habits and promoting nutritious meals, right? Who needs that when you can just load them up on sugar and watch them bounce off the walls?…
So, apparently, more Americans are now choosing to puff on the devil’s lettuce rather than chug down the good ol’ liquid courage. In a shocking turn of events, a recent study has revealed that daily marijuana use in the United States has officially surpassed daily alcohol consumption. Looks like the stoners are winning this round,…
Read More “Marijuana Madness: Daily Use Surpasses Alcohol Consumption in the US” »
So, it turns out that stuffing your face with ultraprocessed junk food isn’t just bad for your waistline â?? it’s also a one-way ticket to cognitive decline and stroke city. In a shocking twist that surprised absolutely no one, a new study has confirmed that chowing down on sugary, fatty, chemically-enhanced garbage can seriously mess…
Read More ““Processed foods: Making you dumber and deader. Surprise, surprise.”” »
So, SpaceX has launched yet another Falcon 9 rocket, breaking their own record for the 21st time in just 35 days. I mean, talk about overachievers, am I right? It’s like they’re playing a game of “How many times can we launch a rocket before someone tells us to chill out?” This time around, Booster…
Read More ““SpaceX’s Falcon 9 Breaks Record Again: Rocket Booster Now Moonlighting as Airplane”” »
YEAH GOOD AFTERNOON AND PITTSBURGH BEAT OUT 20 OTHER CITIES TO WIN THE BID FOR THE 2026 NFL DRAFT AND NOW THAT THE CITY HAS BEEN AWARDED THE BIG EVENT THIS IS HOW THEY PLAN TO PULL IT OFF LAST MONTH DETROIT HOSTED THE NFL DRAFT IN THE CAMPUS MA Exciting news for Pittsburgh, folks!…
Read More ““Pittsburgh Wins Bid for 2026 NFL Draft: City Prepares to Showcase Football and Fries”” »
So, it looks like more Americans are lighting up a joint than cracking open a cold one these days. That’s right, folks, according to a recent study, daily marijuana use has surpassed daily alcohol consumption in the good ol’ US of A. Looks like the green stuff is on the rise while the booze is…
Read More “Alcohol is so last season: Marijuana now America’s daily drug of choice!” »
So, apparently, the Essex County Health Department is on high alert because five cases of rabies have been detected so far this year. That’s right, folks, rabies is on the rise and it’s not just your average run-of-the-mill raccoon getting infected. Oh no, this time it’s a raccoon at a fancy Northern New York country…
Read More “Raccoon Rampage at Moriah Country Club: Is the Club Mascot a Rabid Risk?” »
So, apparently Riley Keough has managed to put a stop to the sale of Graceland. You know, that little ol’ house owned by her granddaddy, Elvis Presley? Yeah, that one. The actress claimed that the company behind the foreclosure was up to some shady business, and a Memphis judge actually agreed with her. Looks like…
Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, your friendly neighborhood alien journalist from the Planet Duh, here to bring you a dose of intergalactic sarcasm and silliness. Today’s headline from your lovely planet involves a teenage troublemaker who decided to play bumper cars while under the influence of some good ol’ Earth alcohol. Yes, you heard…
So, Google has decided to shake things up in the world of advertising by prioritizing AI-generated ad overviews over organic search results. Because who needs genuine search results when you can have flashy, interactive shopping ads shoved in your face instead, right? At Google’s Marketing Live event, speakers proudly demonstrated how they will utilize user…
So, Tom Brady is the new kid on the block at Fox Sports, taking over the coveted spot from Greg Olsen. No pressure, right? I mean, it’s not like Olsen just won an Emmy for his work or anything. Nope, none whatsoever. Olsen, the former NFL tight end turned sports analyst, has been wowing audiences…
Read More ““Tom Brady’s New Gig: No Pressure, Just Following Emmy-Winning Analyst Greg Olsen”” »
So, it seems like the moon and Stonehenge are about to have a little rendezvous, huh? The ancient stone circle in Wiltshire, England is gearing up for a celestial show as the Strawberry Moon makes its grand appearance on the summer solstice. Talk about a romantic date night for our prehistoric pals! Archaeologists and astronomers…
Read More ““CNN: Stonehenge Moon Mystery Unraveled – Aliens or Just Really Bad Architects?”” »
So, the Kansas City metro area has decided to spice things up a bit with some tornado watches because apparently, regular old rain and sunshine just aren’t cutting it anymore. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of ‘Will my house get blown away today?’ It’s like Mother Nature’s version of Russian roulette. The…
Read More ““Kansas City Weather: Tornado Watch or Just Another Day in the Midwest?”” »
So, apparently, all it takes to cure paralysis is a little zap of electricity to the back of the neck. Who knew? I guess all those years of medical school were just a waste of time when we could have been investing in some Duracell batteries instead. According to a recent study, patients with tetraplegia…
Read More ““Shocking Study Reveals: Paralyzed Patients Get a Jolt of Hope and Movement!”” »
