“Final Fantasy 16 DLC ‘Rising Tide’ to Unravel Mystery and Drain Wallets” So, here we are again, folks. The final piece of content for Final Fantasy 16 is set to drop, and it’s got fans more excited than a chocobo in a field of gysahl greens. The Rising Tide DLC promises to unravel the mystery…
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“Texass defending champ Lydia Jacoby swims as 4th seed, will she sink or swim?” So, here we are on Day 3 of the 2024 WOMENS NCAA SWIMMING AND DIVING CHAMPIONSHIPS, where the competition is heating up faster than a Texas summer. Texass defending Champion in the 100 Breast, Lydia Jacoby, may be feeling the pressure…
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“Rose Hanbury thorns Stephen Colbert with legal notice over affair joke” So, apparently Lady Rose Hanbury is not just a pretty face with a fancy title, she’s also a fan of legal drama. The Marchioness of Cholmondeley has reportedly sent a legal notice to Stephen Colbert after he dared to crack a joke about her…
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Snowmageddon Saturday: Brace for Chaos, Slippery Roads, and Snowpocalypse in Northern New Hampshire So, Mother Nature is feeling a bit feisty this weekend, huh? It looks like she’s ready to unleash her winter fury on us poor unsuspecting souls. Get ready to break out the snow shovels and ice scrapers, because we’re in for a…
McGregor Throws Gyllenhaal Over Bar: Hollywood Debut or Cage Match? Well, well, well, it seems like Conor McGregor is trading in his UFC gloves for a spot in Hollywood. The Irish fighter recently made his film debut, and let me tell you, it was a knockout performance. McGregor revealed that he had the pleasure of…
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“Trump’s Legal Fees Before Party Needs! RNC’s New Priority Raises Eyebrows” So, it looks like the Republican National Committee has decided to play sugar daddy for none other than the one and only Donald J. Trump. That’s right, folks. The RNC has agreed to dip into their donation pot to cover the legal bills of…
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“New Superfood Sea Buckthorn Takes North America by Storm – Berry Good News!” So, the latest craze in the world of dieting is a little berry called sea buckthorn. Who knew that a fruit from the cold regions of Canada, northern Europe, and Asia could be the next big thing in weight loss? Move over…
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Supervolcano eruption sparked human migration out of Africa 74,000 years ago – CNN’s Wonder Theory So, apparently, 74,000 years ago, Sumatra’s Mount Toba decided to throw a massive tantrum and spew out a supereruption that could be seen from space. Talk about making a statement. And now, thanks to some diligent archaeologists in Ethiopia, we’ve…
“Malik Nabers vs. Marvin Harrison Jr: Who Will Be Snatched First in Draft?” So, it looks like Ohio State receiver Marvin Harrison Jr might not be the golden child everyone thought he was. According to some experts, there’s a new kid on the block who might just steal his thunder. And no, it’s not some…
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Elon Musk’s Neuralink Turns Paralyzed Man Into Mind-Controlled Video Game Prodigy So, in case you missed it, Elon Musk’s brain-to-computer startup, Neuralink, has finally unveiled their first patient. And who is this lucky guinea pig, you ask? Well, none other than a 29-year-old quadriplegic named Noland Arbaugh. Yep, the man who can’t move his arms…
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‘Alien invaders or just a case of bad aim? Houthis strike Israel.’ Greetings, fellow Duhians! It is I, Zog, your trusty Alien journalist stranded on the wacky planet known as Earth. Today, I bring you a tale of missiles, mayhem, and a whole lot of silliness. So, apparently, the Houthis from Yemen decided to spice…
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“Bianca Censori’s Silver Skirt and Bikini Combo: Fashion Forward or Just Plain Bizarre?” So, here we go again. Kanye West’s wife, Bianca Censori, was spotted in yet another daring outfit in Hollywood. This time, she decided to grace the streets with a stunning silver mini skirt paired with a bikini top. Because, you know, why…
“Jake Sullivan’s secret Ukraine trip: Saving the day or just adding to the drama?” So, it seems like National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan decided to play secret agent and jet off to Ukraine for some high-level meetings. Maybe he’s trying to score some Ukrainian souvenirs for his collection, who knows. But hey, at least he’s…
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“Scientists Shock Women Everywhere with Menopause Prevention Drug Breakthrough” So, apparently, scientists have decided that menopause is just too darn inconvenient for women. I mean, who wants to deal with hot flashes, night sweats, and mood swings, am I right? Well, fear not, ladies, because a group of researchers in New York think they’ve cracked…
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“Blinded by the Eclipse: How Staring at the Sun Shaped Ancient Societies” So, apparently staring directly at a solar eclipse isn’t the best idea. Who would’ve thought, right? I mean, it’s not like the sun is a giant ball of fire or anything. But apparently, some ancient civilizations didn’t get the memo and ended up…
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AmonRa St Brown’s Netflix doc: More drama than a Lions game. Alright, folks, grab your popcorn and get ready for some prime entertainment coming your way! A Netflix documentary following NFL receiver AmonRa St Brown and a few of his buddies is set to hit our screens in the Summer of 2024. That’s right, get…
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Respawn’s “Security Updates” for Apex Legends: Because Hacks are Just a Fun Little Game! So, in the latest episode of “Hackers Gone Wild,” Respawn Entertainment has announced that they will be rolling out a new suite of security updates for Apex Legends after a series of devastating hacks threw a wrench into the ALGS tournament….
‘Intergalactic Mystery: South Korean tanker takes a detour to the ocean floor’ Greetings, Earthlings! It is I, Zog, reporting from the chaotic mess that is your planet. Today’s episode of “Humans vs. Common Sense” features a South Korean tanker, the Keoyoung Sun, deciding to take a little swim off the coast of Japan. How delightful!…
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“Stardew Valley’s 16 Update: Now with Carrot-Hat-Wearing Broccoli Booksellers – Because Why Not?” So, here we are, folks. The moment we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived. No, I’m not talking about the unveiling of a new line of hats for pets (although that would be quite the sight to see). I’m referring to…
“AmonRa St Brown’s Netflix doc: Lions receiver or reality TV sensation? Stay tuned!” So, it looks like Netflix is jumping on the sports documentary bandwagon once again, this time following the journey of NFL receiver AmonRa St Brown. Because, you know, we definitely need more content about professional athletes for us to binge-watch while we…
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“New star set to appear in Northern Crown constellation – astronomers predict stellar drama!” So, apparently, astronomers are predicting that a new star is going to appear in the night sky sometime soon. And no, it’s not just a random star deciding to pop in for a visit. No, this star is going to be…
“Brain Circuit in Mice Makes Them Seek Food Like It’s Black Friday” So, apparently, researchers have discovered that mice have a brain circuit that makes them seek out food even when they’re not hungry. I mean, who would’ve thought that mice were just like us humans, constantly craving snacks even when we know we shouldn’t…
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Alabama Republicans Ban Diversity Programs, Limit Teaching of Race and Gender – Progress? Hold on to your hats, folks, because Alabama Republicans are at it again with their latest attempt to limit diversity and inclusion efforts in the state. In a move that can only be described as a comedy of errors, the GOP-controlled legislature…
ESPN Anchor Hannah Storm’s Cancer Battle: From Sports Center to Cancer Center, She Scores Again! So, in a shocking turn of events, ESPN anchor Hannah Storm has revealed that she is battling breast cancer. Yes, you heard that right. The same Hannah Storm who has been gracing our screens for years with her sports updates…
“49ers swap Darnold for Dobbs: Will new QB be a diamond in the rough?” So, apparently, Sam Darnold decided to ditch the 49ers for the Vikings. I guess he got tired of the California sun and decided he needed some cold weather to really test his mettle. But wait, there’s more! One of last season’s…
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